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Lives of Doctor Wives: March 2010

Monday, March 29, 2010


New one is up. Comments on last week's?


Saturday, March 27, 2010

Survivor Saturdays: Packing It In

Match Day is over and some of you are already thinking about what you have to do in preparation for a move. Don't forget to check City-Data for information on your new location. Lots of realtors participate in the site, and they are very willing to answer questions about neighborhoods, schools, churches, etc. Also consider answering some questions about where you've been living for a while: you know... a little "pay forward" so to speak.

Angie's List is also a great resource for finding reputable movers, childcare facilities, etc but contact the site first and ask how many people are signed up in your immediate area. Some cities have large populations of members who post, but smaller cities are sometimes not worth the membership.

Want to know where the good restaurants are? Search online for a restaurant review site such as We8There, Dine, or TripAdvisor. Some areas have their own restaurant review site, too, like UrbanSpoon in Kentucky or B4UEat in Houston.

Also remember if you are hiring a moving company to move you, get a firm quote that includes a maximum charge. Otherwise, you may find you get hit with hidden charges and overweight fees you didn't expect. Buy the workers pizza and bottled water if you want to incent them to move faster or handle carefully.

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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Resistance is futile

I can't take it anymore. I've tried to resist talking about this in a public forum, but I can't help it.

What does your DrH think about the new healthcare legislation? I'm really interested to hear if any of your husbands have decided to change specialties or retire all together because of it. Or if they are thrilled and planning on expanding their business? Or, is it just a matter of being annoyed with it, but it isn't going to change anything?

I find that most of the people I discuss this with are only concerned about the people receiving the care and have no concern for how this will be effecting the doctors.

I know this is a hot button topic, and I'm hoping we can play nice about this. I just want an open discussion among people whose livelihoods depend on this.



What Do Pilots and Doctors Have in Common?

My husband participates in a medical blog. I thought his recent post was worthy of mentioning and asking you to share with your spouses. He recounts a conversation he had with a pilot and compares their approach to lawsuits to how physicians currently handle it. It's quite enlightening and thought-provoking.

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Monday, March 22, 2010


New poll is up! Comment on last week's? I put 20-40, but I honestly wouldn't be shocked if I counted them and there was more than 40. I stopped counting after 20.


Friday, March 19, 2010

Match Success?!

Congrats to all who matched yesterday!
I am the wife of an MSIII so we have 364 more days to go (not that I am counting!) and was curious if any significant other of a successful 2010 ortho match had any advice?!

And my general curiosity....where is everyone going?!

Thinking of you all!

Monday, March 15, 2010


The new one is up! Comments on last week's?

HAPPY MATCH DAY!!! Be sure and come back and let us know where you are going on Thursday.


Black Monday

Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm thinking of you today. I'm crossing my fingers that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

I remember the nail biting and panic waiting to see if we matched or not.
(Recreation of me on Black Monday 2008)

While, I know it can be a blow to get the call that you did not match, I honestly don't know of anyone who came out worse for scrambling. Some fantastic programs don't fill and are thrilled to have you. And you are thrilled because often it's a program you may not have been honored an interview at during the regular process.

I hope for the best for you all! Good luck today!!!!


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Life Choices

I've been keeping up with the blog for a few months now and I've been wondering if there are any misfits like myself. I didn't meet my DrH until he was one month into his transitional internship. A year later I happily moved cross country with him to start residency and 5 months after that home again to start a different residency/fellowship (You better believe I got an engagement ring after that!). We married in '08 and he's got 3 more years of Fellowship left to go.

We've decided NOT to have a family partly because of his career, partly because we met a little later in life (he's 32, I'm 39) but mostly because we don't feel it would be fair to the children or to me to have an absentee father. Are there any readers here that have made that life choice? I'd love to hear from them!

Thanks so much~Shana K.

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Monday, March 8, 2010


New one is up. Comment on last week's?

We didn't match and had the joy of scrambling. All I have to say about the experience is leave it in the Lord's hands and you will end up where you need to be. :o)


Sunday, March 7, 2010

Introducing - Portia!!

I am married to a wonderful, although largely absent, PGY4 orthopaedic surgeon. Since giving birth to our daughter last June I have postponed a full-time career to be with her. I love being with her, but lately I'm beginning to feel stir-crazy too. It's been tough, and I have recently begun seeking support and friendship to help mitigate frustration and loneliness. Anyway, I say all of this because I want you to know that finding the blog..just reading the postings...made me feel so much better.

Portia- Welcome!!! Have any great advice ladies????

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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Survivor Saturdays: Beware of Spring Cleaning

As you're starting to enjoy the nicer weather and planning about your spring cleaning projects, you may be considering packing up some items that don't seem important. I know when M & I were moving shortly after residency, I couldn't wait to get rid of all those medical books and that graduation hood that took up half our closet! After calling around, I found out that some High Schools and libraries were happy to take some of the books off our hands, even though they weren't the most current. The hood was another story.

I almost stuffed it into a give-away box, but decided M would be mad when he found out. He is very sentimental and keeps tons of items we'll never take out of a box. Still, it was his hood so I stuffed it into a box.

Years went by until one day he was invited to speak at a graduation ceremony. "Where is my hood?" he asked. My heart sank as I asked why it mattered. I have to wear it for the ceremony. That's why I kept it. Oh my goodness, was I ever glad I didn't get rid of it! I dug through every box until I found it, glad that I hadn't done something stupid and thrown it away.

Moral of the story... don't get rid of that thing. It's possible to buy a replacement, but not only will you pay through the nose, but it won't be exactly what your spouse had before. Some colleges will give the MD a honorary doctorate and a school hood, but don't count on it. Keep that baby where you can find it later.

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Let me just say one thing

Just here to do my scattering of sunshine, as usual! j/k. (I find I am here mostly when I am aggravated beyond toleration and am searching for commissary.) That being said, with many approaching match day, I would like to share only ONE thing that I wish someone had told me before embarking on the journey of residency.

Don’t buy a house right away. Please hear me out on this. Even if your husband has wanted to go into physiatry since the day he was born, he will not really know if it is what he wants to do or if the program is a right fit for him until he is actually doing it.

Too many of us, in fact … of all my closest resident wife friends, ONLY 1, Yes, ONE, actually stayed in the program they matched at or scrambled into. The rest of us own a house that we do not live in, in a town our husbands matched in, that WILL NOT sell for anything.

We find ourselves reluctant landlords now, with landlords of our own, living in squaller because we are having to cover the portion of our mortgage that our tenants' rent doesn’t cover because we are just desperate to have someone in there. (that’s not even including landlord homeowners insurance + renters insurance and property taxes)

I know it seems like a pain to move to a rent house, or apartment for a year. But if I could do it over, I wish so much I had done that instead.

Now, make your own choice, and I will be able to sleep at night knowing that I shared my experience and hope that it can be helpful to someone.

The large lovely home I now supplement someone else to live in.

916 square feet of rental house all 5 of us get to enjoy for the next 3 years.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Just Keep Swimming

As the past 8 years have passed, I have become more and more used to my husband’s crazy schedule.  This last 5 months of residency are becoming the hardest months that we have endured during our marriage.  We will still have another year of training after this, the here and now is hard.  I take huge security in the fact that my husband and I are able to communicate about anything, but it still doesn’t change the long months of time my husband spends away from our familial unit.  The part that is harder than those long months is that when he is here, his time is filled with a horrid schedule to make up for the time that he has been away.  Essentially, he is here and yet he is not here.  It’s driving me crazy. 

I am over the brunt of my feelings on the subject.  It’s a form of mourning, I think.  I am to acceptance, I think.  I’ve also come to the realization that the strength we have in our communication and love for one another is what will see us through.  I can see how couples find themselves in situations of unhappiness during this process. 

In the words of Dory on Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…”


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The new one is up now. Any comments on last week's poll?