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Lives of Doctor Wives: August 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Poll - Do you share your passwords with your Dr.H?

New poll is up. Finally. LOL!

Do you share your Facebook, email, etc. passwords? You can select multiple answers.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Reader Question: After Residency Relocation Search

Please give this reader some helpful advice!
My husband and I are currently looking for a place to truly call home after residency. We are looking at the Carolinas and Georgia, Ohio, and California. How do we go about visiting these places? Do hospitals provide traveling expenses to visit? What areas should we look into within these states? Any ideas will help!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Thanks from a reader

Anonymous reader wrote the following nice message:

I recently found your blog and I've really enjoyed it and found a lot of solace in reading the posts and comments.

I'm not exactly a doctor's wife, but my husband was/is pre-med. We have two children, a two year old and a one year old. He just graduated and is currently in the application mode. I almost feel that I have already been put through the ringer with his career choice. Our oldest child was born with a rare and terminal brain defect called Holoprosencephaly, she was given 8 weeks to live and now is going on three years old. Our son was born last summer, when he was supposed to be taking the MCAT and applying to med school, hence why he is doing it this summer.

Ironically, I've been doing all this by myself, raising the babies, dealing with our daughters medical issues, therapist, insurance etc... and now that he's home this summer I feel that we have more tension between us. Its like I don't know how to make him fit into our day to day lives. We hope to learn a lot from this year he is on "a break". I'm going back to school this semester and seeing if I can finish some general requirements before he starts with school again. We're trying to build our family unit up so that we are able to handle it when daddy has to be gone again.

Undergrad was really challenging for us, two kids, special needs, medical issues, my husband leaving from 7 am to midnight every day except Sunday. I'm hoping it was a sort of boot camp for what the rest of our lives might look like.

I really appreciate all that has been posted, everyone's honest feelings and contributions. I can't tell you how some of the posts helped my marriage and my understanding of what he goes through. Currently I think he's getting a taste of what I have been going through and I hope this is what ultimately makes our marriage stronger!

Thanks for your blog, I just want you ladies to know that your helping our little family know how to support daddy with a righteous calling!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Reader Question- Prenups

A reader has asked for our advice:

I'm currently engaged to a 3rd year General Surgery Resident and we're getting married before the end of the year. No kids right now, but we plan to start trying for a family after we're married. We've been together 5 years, so I'm familiar with the struggles of being a doctor, both financially and emotionally, and have very realistic expectations how much time and energy my soon-to-be hubby has to spare.

He recently brought up the issue of signing a pre-nup before we get hitched. He didn't bring it up as a "Sign this or we don't get married," but more like, "So, what are your thoughts on pre-nups?" to test the waters. In his program, probably half of the residents are married and only a handful of the attendings he's under are married. The rest are divorced. I realize that in this day and age, divorce is all too common and that it can be very expensive and that both parties need to be sure to protect themselves. I'm sure my betrothed is influenced my his divorced attendings and thier horror stories of ex-wives and alimony and outrageous divorce settlements.

Of course, I'm sure this issue is a moot point (after all, I certainly don't plan on getting divorced!), but I'd like to hear what other doctor's wives have done regarding this issue. In all of the wedding planning, I've not once considered a pre-nup, it's not even been on my radar. So I was a little taken aback. I agree that we all (MDs and wives) need to always be aware of our finances and protect ourselves, but I'll be honest, I was a little offended by it. Of course, I realize that I wasn't the one studying until the early AM hours for 4 years, I'm not in the OR putting in the hours and logging cases, I'm not constantly sleep deprived and running on empty. BUT I do feel that I've supported him over the last 5 years to make him the successful doctor that he is today (by contributing financially, managing the house and the dogs, making sure he doesn't stave when he's on call, encouraging him when he's down, etc) by just being a loving partner. And once we have children, I'm aware that he'll of course be involved with them, but I'll be their primary caregiver and responsible for the majority of diapers, doctor's appointments and everything else that comes with them since his schedule is so demanding. Isn't that worth something?? Or am I overreacting?

Thanks so much for your help!

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