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Lives of Doctor Wives: Premed Perspective: Living Your Life While Waiting

Monday, July 20, 2015

Premed Perspective: Living Your Life While Waiting

One more year of waiting.
I can’t tell, yet, if it’s a blessing or an annoyance.
Hubs learned a valuable lesson from submitting applications on the tail end of the cycle.
We get an extra year of saving and family time.
We have to face another application cycle, with more schools and more wait time.
Hubs can take a class or two to help boost his GPA.

I’ve come to the realization that I am just along for the ride.
If I try to force anything or over plan our lives, I always end up disappointed.
The military taught me that within the first year of Hub’s contract.
There is nothing more frustrating than putting all of your eggs in one basket and staring at them as they all break apart and start dripping on your lap.

While we were waiting to hear for any status change on our wait listed application, I took to looking into every aspect of the possible changes in our lives.
I was overwhelmed, stressed and on the verge of a breakdown.
My problem was not that I was preparing, but that I was hording all my eggs.
Damn that basket.
Things were piling up and piling up.

I wasn’t living it while we were waiting.
I was storing it for a time when everything would be settled and decided.
It was a terrible way to handle being wait listed.
It took our entire family getting sick to snap me out of it.
I was miserable, Baby was miserable… (Hubs wasn’t as bad off because he worked 2nd shift and rarely tends to not really be around the family as a whole. I can’t tell if he is lucky or not. )
I was ignoring the life I was living by obsessing this life that could be.
The life that wasn't confirmed yet.
Nothing was set in stone and I was planning like it was going to happen tomorrow.

I took a break from my obsessive compulsive need to look at absolutely everything to help Baby get better.
I took time to invest in some time for myself.
I took the time to look at the stress and mental deadlock that Hubs was in due to the exact same waiting game.
It was taking a toll on all of us.

I decided then and there that our family was going to treat being wait listed like a ‘No’.
We were going to live our lives like we were staying put for another year.
We were going to slow down and enjoy ourselves and each other.
I was going to allow THIS life to overshadow THAT possibility.
I couldn’t be happier with the result.

I haven’t stopped thinking of the future, I think I have most of that sorted and stored for an emergency move, if needed.
But I’m excited to plan little family vacations for when we get interviews we have to travel for.
One step at a time.
Positive, realistic thinking.

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