Premed Perspective: Living Your Life While Waiting

One more year of waiting.

I can’t tell, yet, if it’s a blessing or an annoyance.

Hubs learned a valuable lesson from submitting applications on the tail end of the cycle.

We get an extra year of saving and family time.

We have to face another application cycle, with more schools and more wait time.

Hubs can take a class or two to help boost his GPA.

I’ve come to the realization that I am just along for the ride.

If I try to force anything or over plan our lives, I always end up disappointed.

The military taught me that within the first year of Hub’s contract.

There is nothing more frustrating than putting all of your eggs in one basket and staring at them as they all break apart and start dripping on your lap.

While we were waiting to hear for any status change on our wait listed application, I took to looking into every aspect of the possible changes in our lives.

I was overwhelmed, stressed and on the verge of a breakdown.

My problem was not that I was preparing, but that I was hording all my eggs.

Damn that basket.

Things were piling up and piling up.

Life.

I wasn’t living it while we were waiting.

I was storing it for a time when everything would be settled and decided.

It was a terrible way to handle being wait listed.

It took our entire family getting sick to snap me out of it.

I was miserable, Baby was miserable… (Hubs wasn’t as bad off because he worked 2^nd shift and rarely tends to not really be around the family as a whole. I can’t tell if he is lucky or not. )

I was ignoring the life I was living by obsessing this life that could be.

The life that wasn't confirmed yet.

Nothing was set in stone and I was planning like it was going to happen tomorrow.

I took a break from my obsessive compulsive need to look at absolutely everything to help Baby get better.

I took time to invest in some time for myself.

I took the time to look at the stress and mental deadlock that Hubs was in due to the exact same waiting game.

It was taking a toll on all of us.

I decided then and there that our family was going to treat being wait listed like a ‘No’.

We were going to live our lives like we were staying put for another year.

We were going to slow down and enjoy ourselves and each other.

I was going to allow THIS life to overshadow THAT possibility.

I couldn’t be happier with the result.

I haven’t stopped thinking of the future, I think I have most of that sorted and stored for an emergency move, if needed.

But I’m excited to plan little family vacations for when we get interviews we have to travel for.

One step at a time.

Positive, realistic thinking.

Premed Perspective: The Application Wait

Yes I’m using the Royal ‘We’.

That’s the mentality that helps you to keep throughout this whole medical school application process.

Solidarity.

Unity.

One-Mindedness.

We.

 After applications were turned in, a little message popped up.

‘Congratulations! Your applications have been submitted. Now comes the hardest part. Waiting.’

We could hear replies up until 5-6 weeks out.

The first response was a quick and definite ‘no’ at the end of week 1 into The Wait.

It’s okay, because it was our last choice with a  VERY small class number.

The second we heard back from about 2 weeks into The Wait.

It was an offer for an interview!

There was a lot of celebrating in the isle of a Target when DH called me from work to tell me.

Commence trip planning for said interview.

Praise the Lord for hotel rates given specifically for those coming to interview, otherwise we would have been out quite a bit of money… Not that it would have kept us from the interview itself.

Things went really great at the interview.

DH always comes off as personable, responsible and professional, so we never worried about the interview itself.

He came out feeling solid and confident in the impression that he made on everyone he met.

The wait continued for a reply from the school.

After 2 weeks we received a letter stating that DH was placed on the Alternate list for this upcoming class.

He could be accepted up until 2 weeks before orientation.

Alternate?

Is that different from a waitlist?

Is he ranked in this ‘Alternate list’?

When would movement start?

Was it common for a lot of movement from this ‘Alternate list’?

We have been trying to get information about it, but as you can imagine it is a little hard to get a hold of anyone, considering they are dealing with dozens to hundreds of people in the exact situation, asking the exact same questions.

That means that until we are told otherwise, we are still in this eternal wait.

The middle of week 3 of The Wait we heard back from THE school.

Our number 1 pick was a ‘No, thank you’.

That was a bad call to get at work.

With half of Our applications being turned down it was time for a little pep talk.

This was not the end of the world.

Maybe it just was not meant to be.

Maybe the Lord has other plans for us.

With half of the applications being negative, at this point it was time to talk about the possibility that this may not be THE year.

If We don’t get into a school this year, We need to try to find out the reasons for being turned down.

I encouraged DH to possibly call and get a little more information about why he was turned down. If it’s something we can do in the possible extra year, then we need to get that in the works and on the books. Being proactive about things is the key to getting things done.

Some people may feel that being persistent after being turned down is a bit pushy… I see it as being assertive, yes, but more determined than anything else.

Committed.

Once he emailed, he got a fairly generic response back.

‘Continue shadowing, take classes to raise your GPA, consider retaking your MCAT to boost your score’… Those kinds of things.

So that got us a ton of great information.

Not.

Our 4^th school never replied to the initial application.

We called and called to see if there was an error, or if something was missing, but never got a response.

Whatever.

We believe, can pretty much bet, that DH’s timing may have hindered his applications this year.

Because of how late his MACT re-take was in the year, it put him submitting his full applications right at the deadlines.

This choice may have cost him his entrance into medical school this year.

It’s the nature of the beast and your impression on a school starts from that very first application.

You have to assume that every little bit of information about the applicant is taken from the beginning, every action is calculated and taken into consideration.

We have decided to learn from this and have turned around and submitted everything again so that he makes the early application timeline for the next cycle of applications.

Yes, that does mean investing more money into this process.

Yes, we still have a chance that DH will be notified of acceptance this cycle.

We are just covering our all of our bases.

If it happens that DH’s name comes up and we get the acceptance letter, we will rescind our applications for next cycle and start our journey.

Multiple application cycles are not abnormal, so our story isn't unique.

The joys of putting your life in the hands of others...

There is nothing that you can do in the meantime.

No amount of stressing or worrying will change your circumstances.

So, we are continuing to just live our lives.

Enjoying the spring weather and continuing to pray for good news.

How are Your applications going?

How many are prepping their families for the next application cycle?

Do you want to share helpful hints that you have for getting through this stage?

Premed Perspective: The Baby Debate

We’re not in med school yet and we have a 11 month old.

This means that Jake and I are awesome at compromising.

Or I won.

Squeaky wheel and all that.

Back story

Jake and I got married knowing that we wanted to be parents.

For me, it was a no brainer. I wanted children as soon as we were hitched. The only thing holding me back was the impending deployment.

I was all about being a young mother, so I could pop out more kids. I’m in no way career driven, so my dream job is staying home with my children.

Well, let me take that back.

The things that I am interested in doing as a career are impractical and not really applicable to family and adult life.

Staying home with my children seems to be awesome enough to dream about now too.

It''s more important now, and possibly a gateway to volunteering in the direction of my childhood dreams.

Jake had a little longer timeline in mind for us. He wanted to be settled and established.

This meant getting into Med school and possibly even into Residency before having children.

Did I mention that we got married in 2009?

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.

.

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Can you feel my deadpan stare?

After Jake got home from deployment in 2012, I was fairly hysterical for a shorter timeline for babies.

It did not help that my sister and all of my sisters-in-law were pregnant or had babies within a 9 month span.

Except me.

There were a few times when I flat out cried at him.

I’m not proud of that fact, because I tend to think of myself as a pretty emotionally stable person.

We did, finally, compromise.

We were blessed that Jaxon was on his way the very month we agreed to start trying for a baby.

Now we are more than over the moon in love and happy as a family of 3 starting this journey together.

Jake and I know that it will not always be easy, raising children while Jake is pursuing his dream.

There are many long years of school and hard work in Jake’s future.

Jaxon and I, along with any other future children, will be more than ready to be his completely adorable and awesome cheerleaders.

How many of you are entering this adventure with child?

How many are planning on having kids during the process of med school or residency?

Was it a big discussion with your spouse?

Pre-Med Intro: Erin

Good Morning, Lovlies!

My name is Erin, I’m new to the LoDW community. 

I’m really excited to have been added on as a Pre-Med Wife contributor! 



My husband, Jake, and I are from the central Columbus, Ohio area. (O-H!!)

 We met in high school, through marching band my senior year, and have been together ever since. 

We have a little boy, Jaxon, who is 10 months old this month. 

He is the love of our lives and such a happy baby. Right now he is working on big boy front teeth and cruising the furniture. 

Jake has always known that he wanted to be in medicine… Well there was a small stint where he wanted to be a grocery store clerk because his cute little 6 year old self thought that they got to take home all the money.

Anyway, medicine and the idea of being a doctor has always been Jake’s passion. Once college started, he felt called to serve our country and join the Army National Guard as a Radiology Technologist. Jake’s decision to serve in the National Guard took his 4 year undergrad to a 6 year process. This included a 6 month stint in San Antonio and another 6 months in Washington DC for Advanced Training as a Rad Tech and clinicals, which was amazing for his professional development, and a year-long deployment to Afghanistan. 

It’s been quite a journey to get us to this point in Jake’s schooling. Challenges have always been present, whether it was just working full time while doing school full time, or Jake’s training and deployment.

MCAT 

We began the MCAT process while I was pregnant and Jake was taking his final semester of classes. Jake decided, after trolling the boards, that he was going to take his first MCAT without taking a course. Since a majority of his schooling has been online, Jake wanted to see what his ‘Base line’ would be.  It was an interesting time, for sure.

The first MCAT didn’t go as Jake expected. Even though he felt prepared, and being/just finishing all his science undergrad course helped.

His total score was lower than he wanted. It was a decent score, weighing a little heavier in one category… But not good enough for his standards. The distraction of our newborn, me being home on maternity leave, and just having moved in with his mom and step-dad didn’t help, I’m sure.

So the process started again. We didn’t have enough time to enroll him in a course and have it completed before the new year, and new test. So, independent study it was, again. This time he knew what to expect and his studying was set up differently. 

His score only went up by one point, overall. Each of the categories evened out… But that means he lost points in one category, while gaining in the others.

He was so disappointed in that fact and it was a shadow that we dealt with for a few days, but he had applications to complete, so thankfully he didn’t have long to dwell on it.

Applications

The first round of school applications were due 2 weeks after the 2^nd MCAT. My husband, the king of procrastination, who is amazing under pressure, has only preliminarily started his applications… It was a frantic 2 weeks, with a flurry of phone calls, emails and constant stress. We sent out the first applications the week before Thanksgiving. Unfortunately due to the lateness of his MCAT and the time crunch, we didn’t really know what we were doing and transcripts were returned to us.

We decided to rescind our applications and go forward only with our February applications.

I guess the doors closing on the empty applications is just pointing us in a more solid direction with Jacob's eventual school choice.

His applications for the February due date are now in. 

Praise the Lord!

I do believe that as his wife and the mother of our child that is my responsibility to make his experience with med school as easy and stress-free on the home front as possible. So, I try to make myself available for our family. 

Currently, until we get into med school, I work part time and send our little boy to my sister for babysitting during my working hours. This frees up time for my husband who is working second shift at the hospital. Our evenings together are few and far between. 

This set up, I believe, will prepare us for the years of irregularity that Med school and everything that comes with it. 

The life of a doctor and his family is very special one and, in the words of Dave Ramsey, you have to live like no one else, to live like no one else.

(If you are interested in learning more about me, I have a personal blog, Enamored & Elegant. Check it out!!!)

Pre-Med Perspective: It's the climb.

The infamous MCAT is behind us. The applications are in. Secondaries are complete and fees are paid. Now comes the all too familiar waiting game. Ever since I've been married to DH, it's been a test of our patience for our lives to move forward. Seven months after we were married, my husband was deployed to Iraq for 15 dreadful months. After DH was gone for only 30 days, I received news that would play a huge part in our life's course. On Halloween night as I sat by a bonfire with my best friend, my phone rang at 11:36pm. My husband had been hit by a roadside bomb. My heart was beating from my chest as I heard the words coming from my point of contact over the phone. For the next few hours I was restless and prayerful until the moment I heard his voice over the phone. It's surreal to me. It's so hard to understand the pain he felt and I cannot imagine what he lived through. As horrifying and dark the incident was, I am thankful. There is always something good to be found in even the most awful events. From this single event came my husbands desire to become a Doctor. He was the first to administer first aid to the other soldiers wounded in the explosion. It changed him. It sparked a fire in him that I've never seen before. Though his recovery was long and difficult, his doctors impacted his life in a big way and he knew he wanted to do the same for others. So here we are trekking up this mountain. While I am counting down the days until we reach the top, I have to remind myself to enjoy the climb.

PreMed Perspective: Lessons Learned

This is my final post as a premed wife. I can’t believe it. What a wild ride it has been!

My husband started taking his science pre-reqs the week we started dating. Just a few weeks after 3 years, we have been married almost 2 years, here we are, on the verge of starting at the school that seemed like such a long shot that first week. Heck, all of this was a long shot.

But here we are.

In my last post, I would like to share some of the things we have learned:

1.     Nothing is impossible.  7500 people applied to UCSD last year, for 120 spots. My husband is a smart guy, but the odds were ever NOT in our favor. We had resigned ourselves to the fact that we would probably have to move away from our hometown of San Diego. We were wrong. Nothing is impossible.

2.     Not everything happens the way you hope. We hoped for scholarship money. Didn’t happen. We hoped that we would be able to put lots of money this past year in preparation for the loss of 3 incomes this fall with him quitting his 2 part time jobs and me quitting my 1 part time job, but instead I lost my full time job and we weren’t sure how we would get through it, particularly since it happened the week school applications went out. It took me 8 months to find another full time job.

3.     You can’t control everything, so just go for the ride. Easier said than done, for sure! I still get very scared by the future at times. How will we survive, am I capable of being the sole-supporter of us and still be a good wife, friend,  family member, and potentially a mother and not lose my mind? I don’t know, I don’t know what is ahead, but I know what I can control, and that is my response to it all. It has been a hard lesson at times to learn, and I continue to do so.

4.     Enjoy the moments you have. We have each worked 2 jobs during this time. There are days we don’t see each other. I don’t like those days. We don’t know what our days will really be like in the next few years. We, shockingly, may actually end up with more time together in some ways. We will have days ahead still that will make it hard to be together. So we enjoy what we can now, like our Monday night dates to watch “The Bachelorette”!

5.     Commit 100%, or not at all. This is kind of like being pregnant. You either are, or you aren’t. Don’t go into this holding anything back, or believe it is just your spouse’s responsibility. You are in this 100% too. Act like it. Take ownership. It will actually make you feel better about this and not feel so pushed around and helpless. Your 100% will be different than theirs (thank goodness, cause me and math don’t see eye to eye), but you are in it none the less.

My parting words to you following us are this: Don’t expect anything from this and don’t expect anything less than THIER best effort from your spouse… and we wish you the very best in your journey!

How We Got Here

Wow! Can it be? Is it possible that our time as a 'pre-med' is drawing to a close?

Looking back at our journey, I suppose we really got serious about pursuing medical school in the fall of 2011. My hubby brought it up from time to time throughout our entire marriage (married in 2005), but something changed in 2011. An invisible switch was flipped. We decided to go for it. We prayed, planned and scrambled. We paid off as much debt as we could and restructured our finances so that we could live on my income alone. By April of 2012, he was able to leave his full-time job. Of course, we told no one about our plans until March. We gave our loved ones just enough time to process our major life change, but not enough time to talk us out of it. 

We were on a mission.

He started school full time the summer of 2012, knocked out 43 hours of science prerequisites over the next year, took the MCAT in 2013, and applied that summer. Oh, and somehow managed to finish up his MBA somewhere along the way. I am exhausted just thinking about it. At times, it feels like the last several years slipped by in the blink of an eye. At other times...it feels like a lifetime. 

Yet, here we are. In 2014. Mission accomplished.

In eight weeks, we will move. To a city ten hours and four states away. To a city that we have visited a grand total of two times. 

In eight weeks, I will proudly watch my man don his short white coat. Then be witness to the insane amount of time, effort, and energy he will put into his dream. 

In eight weeks I might be unemployed and uninsured. But we will accept that first installment of student loan money with joy instead of stress. 

This path, this life we chose, is a privilege. It has strengthened our marriage in immeasurable ways. My husband's decision to pursue medicine has stirred within me a desire, no a demand, for a more adventurous life. A life lived simply, yet full of passion, freedom, and catch-your-breath excitement. 

We cut our income in half to do this. We sold our home and most of our belongings to do this. We changed our entire lives to do this.

And in eight weeks, we finally get to do it. 

I'm ready. 

Natalie 
visit my personal blog at thehappyredhead.com