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Lives of Doctor Wives: PreMed Perspective: Lessons Learned

Monday, June 23, 2014

PreMed Perspective: Lessons Learned

This is my final post as a premed wife. I can’t believe it. What a wild ride it has been!

My husband started taking his science pre-reqs the week we started dating. Just a few weeks after 3 years, we have been married almost 2 years, here we are, on the verge of starting at the school that seemed like such a long shot that first week. Heck, all of this was a long shot.

But here we are.

In my last post, I would like to share some of the things we have learned:

1.     Nothing is impossible.  7500 people applied to UCSD last year, for 120 spots. My husband is a smart guy, but the odds were ever NOT in our favor. We had resigned ourselves to the fact that we would probably have to move away from our hometown of San Diego. We were wrong. Nothing is impossible.
2.     Not everything happens the way you hope. We hoped for scholarship money. Didn’t happen. We hoped that we would be able to put lots of money this past year in preparation for the loss of 3 incomes this fall with him quitting his 2 part time jobs and me quitting my 1 part time job, but instead I lost my full time job and we weren’t sure how we would get through it, particularly since it happened the week school applications went out. It took me 8 months to find another full time job.
3.     You can’t control everything, so just go for the ride. Easier said than done, for sure! I still get very scared by the future at times. How will we survive, am I capable of being the sole-supporter of us and still be a good wife, friend,  family member, and potentially a mother and not lose my mind? I don’t know, I don’t know what is ahead, but I know what I can control, and that is my response to it all. It has been a hard lesson at times to learn, and I continue to do so.
4.     Enjoy the moments you have. We have each worked 2 jobs during this time. There are days we don’t see each other. I don’t like those days. We don’t know what our days will really be like in the next few years. We, shockingly, may actually end up with more time together in some ways. We will have days ahead still that will make it hard to be together. So we enjoy what we can now, like our Monday night dates to watch “The Bachelorette”!
5.     Commit 100%, or not at all. This is kind of like being pregnant. You either are, or you aren’t. Don’t go into this holding anything back, or believe it is just your spouse’s responsibility. You are in this 100% too. Act like it. Take ownership. It will actually make you feel better about this and not feel so pushed around and helpless. Your 100% will be different than theirs (thank goodness, cause me and math don’t see eye to eye), but you are in it none the less.

My parting words to you following us are this: Don’t expect anything from this and don’t expect anything less than THIER best effort from your spouse… and we wish you the very best in your journey!



Blogger thehappyredhead said...

Great lessons! I feel I learned some similar ones. Best of luck to you both as you enter the next phase!

August 19, 2014 at 11:12 AM  

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