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Lives of Doctor Wives: Black Monday

Monday, March 15, 2010

Black Monday

Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm thinking of you today. I'm crossing my fingers that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

I remember the nail biting and panic waiting to see if we matched or not.
(Recreation of me on Black Monday 2008)

While, I know it can be a blow to get the call that you did not match, I honestly don't know of anyone who came out worse for scrambling. Some fantastic programs don't fill and are thrilled to have you. And you are thrilled because often it's a program you may not have been honored an interview at during the regular process.

I hope for the best for you all! Good luck today!!!!



Blogger Adriana said...

Good luck everyone!!!

March 15, 2010 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Beth Hollenbeck said...

Ditto! Thinking of everyone nationwide this week and can't wait to meet the newbies here at our program!

March 15, 2010 at 9:44 AM  
Blogger KatherineAnne said...

Good luck y'all! My husband is only in his second year so we have awhile until this happens for us, but I can imagine how nerve racking it is...so I am saying a big prayer that it all works out for everyone! Lots of love!!

March 15, 2010 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger Aly said...

We matched!! Thank the Lord! Now waiting for Thursday to see where....ahhhhhh the anxiety never ends. So relieved today though! :)

March 15, 2010 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger matt said...

Despite great responses at her interviews and great board scores, my wife didn't match. As the spouse...what should I do? I feel kinda helpless...it's not even like a job interview where there is recourse. =(

March 15, 2010 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger Elle said...

Good Luck everyone! I start medical school in the fall and am nervous for ya'll just thinking about match day....

Can anyone explain the reason why you find out if you matched, and then you find out where on Thursday?

why don't they tell you all at one time?

March 15, 2010 at 12:55 PM  
Blogger Mèimei's little Designs said...

It gives the people who have to scramble the chance to find a spot, so that by Thursday everyone knows where they're going.

Congrats to those who matches and the very best wishes to those who have to scramble.

March 15, 2010 at 1:01 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

@Matt - I honestly believe like Stacie said, that things will happen the way they are supposed to. If your spouse is struggling to remember that, a gentle reminder that scrambling can get some amazing results might help. Good luck!!

March 15, 2010 at 1:24 PM  
Blogger matt said...

I'm trying to comfort her the best I can but she's still really in shock and crying. Agh this sucks. Hopefully something good happens :/

March 15, 2010 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Aw, poor lady. :o( It is really stressful to not match. In retrospect, you realize it was all for the best, but at the time, it is just plain old scary. Maybe some kind of distraction? Chocolate? Flowers? Vacation? Is she looking at places to scramble yet? Is she still looking at the same specialty?

March 15, 2010 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger matt said...

She's been pretty set on ENT which was hard to get into in the first place..I'm trying to get her out of the house but she's not movin. She's being pessimistic about matching ent bc it would be somewhere she didn't apply, and I guess she applied to all the top schools. Even the dog is scared now

March 15, 2010 at 1:32 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Ugh. I hear ya, Matt. Brad wanted ENT too and didn't match. He was pretty devastated. He scrambled into general surgery because that was his second choice. He loved doing surgery, but when an ENT spot opened up PGY2, he just had to take. He'd loved ENT too long to say no. Thankfully, he had a surgical intern year, so it transferred over. Of course, it was crazy moving, etc, but it was worth it. Not that I advocate changing programs after starting, but opportunities can still arise. I know another ENT resident that just worked ER and kept reapplying each year. If she is dead-set on ENT, that could be an option too. A longer option, granted, but if nothing else will do, maybe consider it. :o)

My email is listed on my profile if I can help with anything else. :o)

March 15, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger JumpingJane said...

Matt- My Uncle is ENT. He did not match. He did a year of general surgery residency and then matched the following year. Years later he is happily in a very good ENT practice. It will work out.

March 15, 2010 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger matt said...

thanks everyone for your stories. She kinda made it through last night, and I hope something will get resolved today. I think she's planning on doing a year of research, but I can tell she's still really let down.

Melisa> Isn't PGY2 entry in ENT extremely rare? I don't know if she wants to risk that.

Whatever happens I just want her to be over this..I personally still think match is a silly process.

(btw I guess this makes me a doctor wife =p )

March 16, 2010 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Yes, it is quite rare. We had just decided to do general surgery when the opportunity came up. So the decision would have to be: do you want to stay the course, wait a year, and try again OR pick a new specialty and see what comes.

March 16, 2010 at 10:46 AM  
Blogger matt said...

She's REALLLLY bad again today. She feels like she's unmatchable despite what I tell her and is really not handling it well. =/ Not sure what I can do now..she's already talked to some doctors at school and they were all surprised she didn't match, the Dean has called many times, it's just a tough spot. She seems pretty set on ENT, and I don't want her to settle just to get in somewhere. sigh..

March 16, 2010 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Are there any ENT spots open to scramble into?

Sorry, Matt. It is so discouraging to not match. And everyone grieves in their own way. Hopefully, time can heal this wound and she can start making decisions about where to go next.

March 16, 2010 at 11:53 AM  
Blogger matt said...

They will find out right now where the 1 spot open is. I think this really hit her hard in self esteem, and she already wasn't the most confident person. I think it's stinging her even more bc she had such high board scores and everyone told her she interviewed well.

I am not in the medical field at all, so don't know enough to comfort her and that's what sucks right now.

Is it true that not matching somewhere the first time makes it basically impossible to get in next year? Ionno how other spouses handle this..I guess I'm not as solid as some wives. lol

March 16, 2010 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger MW said...

"Is it true that not matching somewhere the first time makes it basically impossible to get in next year?"

I don't know for ENT, but in ortho (also competitive), I understand that is not the case, particularly if she's a strong applicant based on her stats. Some people fall through the cracks with the match, and it sucks, but if she doesn't get that scramble spot, she can apply again next year.
She should probably apply broadly to increase her chances. And, she should also get new letters about her accomplishments after not matching. As her spouse, you should reassure her that you will follow her anywhere (hopefully you are willing/able to do that :)).

Good luck to both of you!

March 16, 2010 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Married to a med student - Marissa Nicole said...

Good luck to you and your wife, Matt! It will all work out!

March 16, 2010 at 2:46 PM  
Blogger matt said...

Thanks for hearing me whine, everyone. *hugs* There was only 1 ENT spot in the whole country open, and she didn't get it. However the head of gen surg thought it was so ridiculous she didn't match that he's creating a prelim surg position for her to do next year. I left work at noon to sit with her as they waited for callbacks. That was a long and painful 5 hours...

At this point I just want her to move on and try to rebuild her confidence. With her smarts and talent I'm sure she'll be fine..but I just need to be able to convince her of it. Onward!

March 16, 2010 at 9:51 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Glad to hear it, Matt. You are doing a great job! Keep it up!

March 16, 2010 at 11:13 PM  

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