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Lives of Doctor Wives: Sacrifice

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Hello again! I think I might officially be back into the blogging world now that I'm living with my husband again, have internet in our new house, and am getting somewhat settled.

I love the new town I'm living in, but truthfully, I really can't stand the house. But it is in a super school district and on a resident's salary we can't afford anything nicer. I guess it is "fair" that a single resident is paid the same as one with a family of 5, but it is still tough.

I'm fighting the resentment that comes from leaving a huge house that I loved in a town that I loved but I know that in the long run, this was the best move for our family. I'm think I'm just curious as to what you've had to give up in pursuit of the dream.

And I'm also looking for advice. I have an appointment with an ortho because my knee is killing me. I have no family in town (ha! I have no family within 1300 miles!), and haven't had time to make many friends that are available to watch 3 kids during the day. I've only been here 2 weeks. I don't want to take my kids to my doctor's appointment, but I have no clue what to do with them as residents don't get time off for their wife's doctor appointments, ya know?


Blogger Amanda said...

Well, I pretty much gave up my career as a preschool/kindergarten teacher, before I even started it. We moved too much for me to get an established position anywhere, and no one was really hiring after I graduated. The two jobs I did have I gave up on because I couldn't handle the special needs classrooms. I ended up becoming a receptionist in two different medical offices and was happy with the switch in career fields. I'm a SAHM now, and I'm happy with that, too. I think that was my biggest sacrifice. Also, we waited a while (five years) before starting our family. I'm in my early 30s, our son will be three soon, and we're finally thinking about trying for another baby. I know I'm not super old, but I remember a lot of days early on in our marriage when I really wanted to start a family sooner than we did.
As for the doctors' appointment, is there a moms' group in your area you can join? You might be able to find one through Mamasource.com or Meetup.com. The moms' group to which I currently belong is starting a kidswap thing, so parents can have a night out to themselves. Maybe there's a group doing that in your area during the day for things like grocery shopping or doctors' appointments? I know it's hard when you're new in town and don't know anyone. I hope you find someone you can trust!

June 9, 2009 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger Davita said...

what town are you in? i'll watch your kids for you. :-) you should look to see if your town has one of those drop off places. i have never used one, but two of my really good friends have used them when moving to a new town.

June 9, 2009 at 10:11 PM  
Blogger Davita said...

BTW, I know exactly how you feel. We moved 1500 miles away from ANY family for school and now we're about 1300 miles away for residency. Perhaps your hubby can ask the program if some of the other wives [if there are other wives] have sitter recs.

June 9, 2009 at 10:14 PM  
Blogger Married to a med student - Marissa Nicole said...

Where have I been? When did you sell your house and move? That is such great news - I am so happy to hear that your family is all together again!
I don't have too much advice except if you have a church to check with them - see if they have a women's group or if they could recommend a reliable sitter. Could you ask a neighbor if they have a sitter they recommend?

June 9, 2009 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Davita, Philly, come on over. ;o)

June 9, 2009 at 11:55 PM  
Blogger aj said...

call local daycare centers and ask if they have drop in service..alot around here do, and you can leave them in the whole day..it'll be high, but you can get several things done that one day, kwim? my local ymca offers sitter service on fridays for 3 hours for moms to do whatever...you have to be a member, but i applied for a scholarship and only pay 33$ a month..they charge 10 per kid on friday's and have parents night out on various saturday nights for like 20$ i think.

as for what did i give up for him? a 60k a year job as a hairdresser...it took me 6 years to build up my clientele and make that kind of money and since moving havn't been able to build it up again. i am now a sahm and i look forward to the day i can work again...i'm bored!

June 10, 2009 at 8:49 AM  
OpenID joz1234 said...

I second the dropin service at a daycare...it is a temporary fix until you can find a group of gals.

I think the most major thing I have given up is the ability to settle down in one town and really get to know friends for life...as well as giving up the ability to run my calendar.

In return I have been given and will be given so many more opportunities, that I believe it is worth our sacrifice in the long run.

June 11, 2009 at 1:11 AM  
Blogger Adriana said...

You might also try one of the other resident's spouses. When we moved and didn't know ANYONE and had no family in the area they were our first network of friends and had been in the same place so they were pretty willing to help out.

As for the move and the sacrifice I had a hard time our first year not resenting my husband. I too felt like we were taking 3 steps backwards just to take one big one forward. We moved from a great house in a town with lots of friends and family and where I loved my job to a small apartment in a town where we knew no one and it took almost a year to find a job for me. It was the hardest year ever but now looking back I wouldn't change it for the world.

June 11, 2009 at 12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess it is "fair" that a resident with a family is paid the same? Um, try deleting the quotes. It is completely fair, and that's the way the world is. You get paid for the work you do, not in anticipation of your expenses.

June 12, 2009 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger Melisa said...

I agree it is fair, I'm just saying that it is harder to get by on a resident's salary as a family of 5 rather than a single person.

June 12, 2009 at 11:53 AM  

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