Waiting is the Hardest Part

The waiting is the hardest part,

Every day you get one more yard.

You take it on faith, you take it to the heart,

The waiting is the hardest part. 

"The Waiting" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

***

During a particularly anxiety-ridden week, I got in my car to hear this song blaring on the radio. I couldn't help but laugh. Tom Petty really got it right on this one. Waiting is indeed the hardest part.

Waiting is where we are at right now, as I am sure many of you are too. After a couple of promising interviews, waiting is all we have left to do. In order to entertain torture ourselves while we wait, we have been obsessively hashing out every possible scenario. Many conversations later, I have realized that this decision comes down to much more than just medical school. The school is certainly the main factor in making this major decision, but there are many other significant factors to consider as well. Can we picture ourselves living and working in that city? What is the cost of living? How far would we be from family? You get the picture.

Following each conversation of weighing the pros and cons of this versus that, we tend to come full circle and realize that...we actually have no say. How bizarre is that? That such a life-altering decision lies not in our trusty hands, but rather in the unknown hands of an admissions committee. Unless multiple offers are extended, we do not get to do the choosing. We must wait to be chosen. The feeling is reminiscent of a junior high kid attending their first dance. We arrived in our finest outfits, made the best first impression possible, and now not-so-patiently wait for someone to ask us to dance. To compound the awkwardness, we stand squirming by the punchbowl resisting the urge to shout at the top of our lungs, "I'M A REALLY GREAT DANCER, I PROMISE!"

Being the type A person that I am, heck, that we are (double the fun here, folks) this lack of power has us feeling a little bit out of control. However, there are certain aspects that I can control...my optimism and my attitude. The next few decisions might be made for us, and that is okay by me. The end goal of this journey is for my husband to be a doctor, and we will do whatever it takes. The most important thing is that we chose to chase this big dream together. And that makes me proud.  

Natalie 

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