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Lives of Doctor Wives: Anti-climactic

Saturday, May 28, 2011


5th year is starting in 4 weeks. And I thought I would be more excited. While I am indeed excited, it feels very anti-climactic. For so many years I looked at 5th year as our final year. One last year before we could start paying off loans. We are almost at 5th year, and Brad has decided to do a fellowship, adding another year. What is one more year after all we've already done, right. But it sure makes 5th year less exciting for me. And don't get me started on how expensive it is applying for fellowships. $1000 just for a plane ticket to Cincinnati?? Are you kidding me? I will be soooo excited when we find out where we are going for fellowship. It will mean he can't fly any more places. It seems like he keeps adding one more each week. haha! How many is too many to apply to? When is enough, enough? At the most he will only be going to one of the programs.



Blogger Wendy said...

Hang in there! You're so close! I think we found out where we were headed for fellowship in late June so you should be hearing something soon!

My DrH is one month away from being DONE. It is so surreal.

When he applied to fellowships, he sent out 15 applications and interviewed at 7 places. He had 9 interviews scheduled but cancelled the last two after getting the job offer at his top choice. Oh, and I made him stop interviewing within 2 weeks of my due date. So, that was how I decided when enough was enough. :)

May 29, 2011 at 1:57 AM  
Blogger Wife of a Resident said...

I feel your pain. We just sailed on the same boat. I too thought if I could just make it to the last year of residency (in our case the 6th year) I might come out of this alive. But we too are doing a fellowship, making our last year now our next to last year. We got our acceptance two weeks ago, thankfully it is one of the places we wanted to go. Ironically my husband did interview in Cincinnati, too - but that's not where we are going.

I keep telling myself what is one more year anyway. It will go by fast, but you were counting on being done it is still hard to swallow. We'll survive. Resident wives are the ultimate survivors :-) Best of luck.

May 29, 2011 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger TheFamousStacie said...

can we fit 3 in that boat? Feeling your pain... arghhhh....

June 1, 2011 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger sLm said...

My fiancé just got accepted into a Fellowship program in Cincinnati for Sports Medicine!! We have had our contract signed and ready to go for when he was supposed to be done next June but then he decided to do this one last interview a few weeks ago in Cincy and he got it! I was excited at the same time stressed about trying to sell our house, move, quit my job, find a new one but then only be there for a year. I've just learned to go with the flow. I would never tell my Fiancé to not do something if it was going to be better for his career. We'll make everything work and we're strong so I just go with it! I’m excited to see what Cincy has to bring with his fellowship with the Reds! But we did have to do the same thing, about 9 interviews all over the US and all out of pocket expenses. We heard that you may be able to write off some of the travel expenses on taxes?! But I never heard what he ended up doing since he handles that for us. Anyways, just embrace it and be excited if he is excited. I think they have a hard enough time with all the stresses of their jobs and at work that I don’t like to add to the stress of his home life. Don’t look at the picture like a timeframe and just be in the moment and enjoy where you are at!! Everything happens for a reason and you will be fine whether he's done in one more year or two! It will all be worth it and pay off in the end!

June 1, 2011 at 2:50 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Dawkter said...

When do you find out where he is doing fellowship?

June 3, 2011 at 11:18 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

sLm, ooooh, we could start a Cincy Dessert Night together! He starts 2012, right? But I confess that I can never love any team more than the Phillies. :o)

Marissa, Friday is microvascular and July 1st is head and neck. I can't believe how anxious I am. Okay, I can. I'm just an anxious person. But I still want it to hurry and get here.

June 6, 2011 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger sLm said...

Melisa, yeah his fellowship year will be next year, 2012. We have one month to move 5 hours away from friends and family and find an apartment. Oh and without pay from either of us since we wont be working for that month... So stressful times are coming! And I agree about the teams, Im a Pittsburgh girl always and forever!! What is your DrH going to do his fellowship in?? Have you heard yet whether you'll be in Cincy?

June 9, 2011 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Melisa said...

sLM - He wants to do head and neck oncology. The match is on the 1st of July. The programs are all MD and Brad is DO, so we can't participate in the match, just sit and wait to see what is left. Bummer.

June 13, 2011 at 8:16 PM  
Blogger sLm said...

Thats a shame about having to wait. My Fiance is a DO as well and he went on a lot of interviews all over the U.S. that he thinks he got passed on simply because they were all MD's. Its a shame.. A main reason we're doing a fellowship is because Pittsburgh is mainly MDs so my Fiance wants to spealize so that it will give him a better chance at getting something near the city/our families. But I hope all goes well in July for you guys! Good luck!

June 15, 2011 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Thanks! He was already offered an "outside the match" spot, so we know he has one, he just wants to see what is going to happen with the match.

The crazy thing is that the MDs here all want to hire him and don't think he needs to do a fellowship. They want him to do a mini-fellowship for a couple of months and then fly him out for large cases as needed after he starts as an attending. It seems strange that so many people say to get a fellowship, and yet the MDs here say to not worry about it, they'll hire him no matter what. Even though he is DO, he doesn't need to prove himself to them, probably because he has worked with them for 3 years and they know how amazing he is. If MD programs don't want to interview him because he is DO, it is their loss. :o)

June 16, 2011 at 10:58 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

slm --- I am new to finding this blog, but we are also moving to Cincinnati summer 2012. My husband is doing a hand surgery fellowship there.

December 15, 2011 at 9:02 PM  

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