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Lives of Doctor Wives: Marital counseling

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Marital counseling

Ladies, this was posted in the comments. Any words of wisdom, advice, support or encouragement would be appreciated!

I am 34 old and married to a doctor, he is good on all respect but he can’t be able to concentrate on family as he was doing previously. I understand this is due to work load and many times he just satisfying their clients online all the night. Many times he got pager for an emergency calls then he go for patient treatment. Now I m getting very depressed and I tried to take Christian marriage counseling but he refused to go with me, I don’t know what I will do, please help me.



Blogger Rachel said...

Is he still in training? If so, it is important for you to find something to keep yourself busy (work, volunteering, school, hobbies, etc.) so you don't have time to focus on how little you see him. Unfortunately, families sometimes have to take a back seat to the job, at least until the training is over. If he chose a super intensive specialty (like surgery) you find that it is not uncommon for you to go days without seeing him and when you finally do, all he will want to do is sleep. My husband is in the hardest year of his training and, fortunately, the last year of his training. I have a two year old, I'm pregnant, and I am home all day so I could easily let myself go crazy if I think about it too much. I have to remember that he has it pretty rough too. It may seem like you are giving him all the support but YOU don't have anyone to lean on. But just remember, it will get easier and the wait will be worth it. Again, if you can find something to keep yourself busy in the meantime, the time will fly by much faster.

August 13, 2009 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Even if you can't get into marital counseling, individual counseling can be very beneficial.

August 13, 2009 at 10:58 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm in total agreement with both Rachel and Melisa. Even if he doesn't go, seek out counseling for yourself - or at the very least, a good support system.

August 14, 2009 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Alexandra said...

Sometimes you just have to do your best and pray that he will have a change of heart, if it is something HE has control over, or pray that you will have a change of heart if it's just that rough time of training. By living the life you want him to be a part of, he will hopefully see your example and realize his priorities. If he's truly busy with work that HAS to be done, then you will have to be the one that makes sure the family stays happy. It's a lot of responsibilty and very overwhelming sometimes but if you have the Lord on your side, you can make it through. We will keep you in our prayers! We've all been there!

August 14, 2009 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Kathi Browne said...

Adding to Alexandra's comment, church is an excellent place to find companionship while your husband is away. If you're not comfortable reaching out to a church family, maybe you can find one or two other doctor's wives who can relate to you.

During my husband's hardest years, we were a part of a group of 3 couples. Some were doctors married to doctors. When an event came up or we often went as a partial group. Our children played together and we often traded left-overs. I couldn't have gotten by without them.

August 14, 2009 at 8:49 PM  

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