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Lives of Doctor Wives: Another New Person!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Another New Person!

Hi! My name is Steph and I am the wife of a Physician Scientist student. My husband, Joshua, is wrapping up his second year at The University of South Dakota and getting ready for his Step One in June. We met at the U four years ago. Like many he had the doctor dreams since he was about five. We were married before his first year and moved back to where our families lived, about 50 miles away from the school. So he has to commute about two hours a day.

I regret a lot that we didn't stay closer to the school. I know he was willing to move for me, but I feel we missed out on the bonding with other medical families. I try to understand what he is going through to the best of my abilities, but I grew up in a business family, knowing nothing about the medical professions. He also tries to keep school at school so it doesn't interrupt our time together. I missed out on getting to know other wives going through what I am going through. Someone to talk to, relate to and know I am not alone with what I am feeling.

In about four years, after his lab time and clinicals we will be needing to move for his residency. I plan, at that time, to throw myself into the role I should have been playing from the beginning. I feel like I support him from a distance, but I want to be there through the whole thing and be involved. I also want to meet others who we can both relate to and make some lasting bonds. Since he has to commute, he also doesn't get that bonding time with his fellow students.

So I guess the main reason I wanted to get involved in these blogs is to meet others and be able to vent about what we, as the supporters, are going through. And to hear about everyone elses tales. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? What works to keep the relationship going when schedules and hours are completely different? What methods do others use to keep themselves busy, but continuously available for support? Any suggestions to relate more to my husband about his passion without having to have the same medical background and knowledge?

Thanks for reading and I hope to get to know some of you a little better!



Blogger Alexandra said...

Wow, what an exciting field. Sorry, maybe I'm an idiot, but I had to look up exactly what your hubby is doing. Sounds like you guys have a long time ahead of you, but it sounds like an exciting endeavor for those who like research and science! Glad you could join us!

March 22, 2009 at 11:33 PM  
Blogger Trisha said...

Hey Steph! Welcome!

I hope you are able to find the support you are looking for here! It would be tough going through school and residency for me without the friends in the same boat. So glad you joined!

March 22, 2009 at 11:35 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Welcome, Steph!!!

I didn't know what it was either, Lex. Maybe we should add it to our 'terms to know'. ;o)

Support groups are great to have, but virtual support groups can be very helpful too!

I don't have many answers to your questions, but I do have some thoughts. I listen close when he talks about things and really try to pick up on certain terms. I ask him questions or have him explain things. I also subscribe to Medterm Words of the Day, and that is a quick way to learn things. I also read a couple 'doctor blogs' for kicks and giggles. Just some thoughts.

Glad to have you here!

March 23, 2009 at 12:31 AM  
Blogger MW said...

Another googler here! It's an MD/PhD program, right? I know a couple mud phuds at R's school. One was my director in the Vagina Monologues here, and another R met when doing research out here in undergrad. That guy is now an ortho resident; I think he completed his program in 7 years.

If I'm wrong, please correct me! :)

I love hanging out with my fellow med wives, but I'm sure having your family nearby is invaluable.

As far as your husband getting to know people, I'm sure he'll form really close bonds with the others in his lab once he's in that part of his training for a while. Then you can maybe make the occasional trip up there, rent a hotel room and go out with friends there or just see his school for a weekend. You've probably already thought about that, but I just figured I'd throw it out there.

Anyway, nice to meet you!

March 23, 2009 at 8:06 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Hi Steph! Welcome!

As far as relating to my husband, we're just MSIs, so I don't have a ton of advice yet. I do like looking at the anatomy books... it's really interesting to me and I ask lots of questions. Maybe I'm strange! I have also listened to some recorded lectures with him in the car. Probably wouldn't work for everything, but I know a whole lot more about renal physiology than I probably should! ;)

March 23, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

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