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Lives of Doctor Wives: PreMed Perspective: Two years down... How long to go?!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

PreMed Perspective: Two years down... How long to go?!

“ I am starting this week actually at Mesa College to get my science classes for the prereqs I didn’t take in undergrad, so I can go to med school.”

“Wow. That is cool. When will you actually start med school?”

“Oh, I figure I will apply in about 2 years, and start in about 3.”

… And there it is. The conversation that bore so much weight on my future… and I had no idea.

That conversation took place while my now husband and I were on our first “date”, which involved walking to the beach with my dog and a trip to the hole-in-the-wall taco shop. I guess he was prepping me for the future of low budget dates. 

I thought he was a nice guy, but honestly, he might have well said, “I am going to be dead broke for the foreseeable future, I am going to have to move an undetermined amount of times and cities, I have zero stability, I am years from being in my career and therefore have no intention of anything serious."

I was almost 28, when you are definitely dating to find Mr. Right, so our conversation was not exactly full of things that make you think "This guy is totally ready to settle down and be a husband".

But you can't help who you love, and here we are two years later, and right on the schedule he told me about on that first date. Well, with a 300 guest wedding, 2 moves, and the loss of our main source of income (my morning radio show gig) thrown in there, along with some other life events… but on schedule none the less.

Two weeks ago, he did just what he said he would on that first date and applied to 21 medical schools with a solid GPA and a top 2% MCAT score. I am extremely proud.

I am also extremely scared.

I lost my job that had been my career the past nine years the week before those oh-so-cheap med school apps were sent in. I have been on and producing successful radio shows here in San Diego, but the job market in radio is shrinking by the day, leaving me facing a new career of, well, who knows, but it better be good, cause it’s all on me for the next 8+ years.

I will be 30 in a couple months. 3-0. The clock is ticking, and well, that is scary too. I will be having babies and supporting us through med school. Sure… ya… no problem...

We are both San Diego natives. All of our family is here. All those people that could help us out while trying to have kids and work during med school could be a full day of flying away. Our dogs can watch the kids, right?

Finally, blogs like these. My husband has banned me from looking at a lot of wives’ blogs, because frankly, I get panic attacks reading them. A lot of wives can be seriously depressing to read about. Everyone has their own roads and experiences that they go through, and we all need to remember that. What is terrible to one person, is a walk in the park to the other, and vise versa. All of us have our own walks to take a day at a time, and no one can tell you what it is going to be like for YOU. That is NOT what I want to do here.

Yes, I am scared. However, I am also very hopeful. I hope to share some of our joys and struggles along the way… and hopefully not terrify anyone just starting to date some guy who says he wants to go into medicine away… well for that reason anyway...

Secondaries are on the way, we hope. Stay tuned. 

Anna Myatt 



Blogger The Sugar Scientist said...

I usually don't comment on most of these blog posts, because I can't relate to a lot of the stories (we have no children yet, we've perpetually stuck in long-term relationships so I can't be a 'wing spouse', etc), but I wanted to tell you that somehow, in the end, it will all turn out okay!

I agree that reading a lot of the doctor's wives blogs are scary, but everyone has a completely different experience. I read stories of homelessness, food stamps, not having electricity due to inabilities to pay the bills... and it's all totally foreign to me. It certainly doesn't HAVE to be like that.

When my husband was in medical school, I was a Ph.D. student with a $22,000/year stipend. We lived in Washington, DC, so our rent was extraordinarily high compared to most areas of the country. We made it work. My husband took out as much as he could loan-wise to cover some extra living expenses, and sure, we'll be paying back his loans for a while, but you do what you have to do. We didn't own anything luxurious or extravagant, but we were never trying to scrape our last two nickels together, either.

My husband moved away for residency, so we spent 4 years surviving on a resident salary and my same graduate stipend, while maintaining two separate residences in two separate states, adding in travel costs for both of us between the two locations. Again, we were able to make it work, with a lot of planning, budgeting, and saving wherever we could. We lived together for the past 10 months, but he just moved yesterday to another city for fellowship, while I still have 3ish years left here for my postdoc.

There are a lot of scary stories out there, and my heart absolutely goes out to those with immense struggles, but a spouse in medical school doesn't seal you into a lifetime of poverty. The loans terrified me at first, but sometimes you just have to take out a little more money to get by, and after a while, you stop panicking when you think about the total debt accrued...

June 25, 2013 at 1:37 PM  
Blogger Ash said...

i also don't usually comment on these! but something about your words are totally resonating with me. i think the fear and anxiety that comes with this whole process. the what-ifs and the mere thought of how long it all takes. i am not in your situation, but i am also a graduate student with no job (double loans...ick), we are looking to start a family in the next year, and we are officially starting our(/his) last year of medical school this week. and honest to god, i remember sitting exactly where you are...at the very beginning of the process after drudging through chemistry, etc. and the MCAT and the whole mess. and now i'm sitting here and honestly, like the commenter above, somehow you just make it work. and it truly is not that bad. there are days that are worse than others, but there are good days too and there are great days! i have a hard time with the doom and gloom stuff as well. you guys will get through it and everything will be okay!

June 26, 2013 at 12:20 AM  
Blogger Anna Myatt said...

Thank you ladies for your responses! You are very encouraging!

June 27, 2013 at 11:49 PM  

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