The Medical Marriage Chapter 3

Not much discussion over at the forum so I thought I would post the recap here today.

Chapter 3 was very clinical for me. It was harder to read and I found myself skimming a lot of it. There were a few things that I pulled from it that I thought was very helpful and relative.

On the very first page there was a quote that said "Struggling becomes a way of life even when here is no reason to struggle." Sometimes I feel like it is a very mental choice to realize that things are OK right now. My husband is on an OK rotation, the kids are all healthy and happy, money is OK, we are OK. When did it become the norm become "not OK"?

I've never been to therapy but I think the information about "what you bring into the marriage" is a pretty common idea to understand your partner and why they are who they are and understanding yourself. The personality traits they described: being strong, being perfect, trying hard, pleasing others, hurrying, and being careful all made a lot of sense. I could definitely pick out the ones that applied to husband and he could identify with them as well. Surprisingly I found myself identifying with a few and husband pointed out some that I hadn't thought of that way before. Understanding the personality traits helped us both to understand how we cope with stress and what we our underlying hopes are. What are we really striving towards with our coping methods. They say that knowledge is power. Learning where it all stems from helps us understand it better.