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Lives of Doctor Wives: Surprise and Congrats!!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Surprise and Congrats!!

My name is Aly, and I have been reading/commenting on the Lives of Doctors Wives blog for the past 6 months or so and am so appreciative of you and the other ladies for creating a place where I have found people who know what I am going through!

My husband is in month 2 of PGY1 and we all know how challenging that is on its own for both of us! Well surprise, surprise, I have suddenly found myself pregnant and due in March 2011. While we are thrilled (this is our first pregnancy) this was just not in the "plans" for his intern year! We at least wanted to wait until PGY3 to began trying...so much for those plans, right??? Has anyone else been through this? Any advice for surviving my first pregnancy while also still adjusting to the chaos of intern year? And when the baby arrives, husband will still have a few months to go until he is PGY2...how do I get through that time pretty much on my own (we are in NYC and all of my family and friends are back home in California)??? Any advice and words of widsom would be so appreciated!

Thanks so much in advance for taking the time to read this!

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Blogger Sunny said...

Congratulations! I had our son in March of hubby's 3rd year of med school. (He is now PGY2 - Derm)Intership is tough, but depending on his speciality, no tougher than the residency portion. My best advice is to adapt the best you can - we didn't have family close by either - but the biggest piece of being a resident's wife is the ability to make it work regardless of schedule. Hopefully he can plan vacation around the first few weeks the baby is due!

July 19, 2010 at 4:30 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Definitely get your husband to request time off now for the time when you're due or try to schedule a rotation that allows for time off around the time that you're due (of course, due dates can be pretty unpredictable, but at least you can try to have him around). My husband is PGY1 and I'm due in October with our 4th. At his program they require you request at least two months in advance for vacation time so check the rules at your program. Definitely try to get in touch with other wives in your residency or nearby medical schools for support. I'm sure there are playgroups going on that you get can involved in, and don't shy away just because your baby will be too young to play - you need to play too! I'm sure you'll find women there in your same boat. Good luck and congrats!

July 19, 2010 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger Mèimei's little Designs said...

Welcome Aly and I feel your pain. We're in the midwest while all of our family is in CA. Due to finances we rarely get to go home or have many visitors. My husband is a PGY4 in ortho and we have 3 kids-- ages 9, 5, and 2. I had our third in June while my husband was on trauma hell. Does your program have a spouses/partners alliance? Do the spouses get together? We aren't terribly close here, but we do have showers and the wives bring meals when babies are born.

Friends [albeit it's only been 2-4 close ones] have made all the difference during medical school and residency. It's still tough, but good friends make it bearable. My husband is back on trauma and he went 3 days without seeing the kids last week and the earliest he got home was 9:30pm [he goes in at 6am]. We live our lives and he fits in when can.

My mother came out for 3 weeks when our third was born. That was a HUGE help. My MIL came out for almost 2 weeks when our second was born during medical school. Hopefully, you'll be able to make friends and if family is willing to come out and help, take them up on their offer. And don't be afraid to travel alone. I went home for a week or so when our third was 6 weeks old. I flew alone with three kids. It was great to be with family- a little break from the loneliness of residency. What specialty is your husband in?

Try to make friends and be active. Sitting around at home will only make residency even more lonely. Congrats on your pregnancy! Our first was a surprise [during undergrad]. Best of luck, you'll make it through! Davita

July 19, 2010 at 6:19 PM  
Blogger 3boysinBama said...

You can do it. My husband is in his first year of residency and we have 3 kids. Please feel free to contact me if you need any support or just have questions. It's chaos and it's hard but you can do it.

July 19, 2010 at 10:55 PM  
Blogger Ams said...

I also commented on your blog awhile ago because I was wondering how you were doing!!
Of course I have three kiddos and did a lot of it on my own too - so email me!!! We can commiserate!
Congratulations again lovely lady!!! You will get through this!

July 20, 2010 at 2:39 AM  
Blogger Alexandra said...

Congrats! We had our first (now 3) in our third year of medical school, it wasn't hard for me because it was nice to have a distraction from being home alone! Our second was born on June 11th right before m husband started resudency on July 1st, hehe! We were moving from Oklahoma to Michigan and we left with the moving truck when Morgan was 6 days old.....what an adventure. My parents came with us for a week to get us moved and then I was alone in a new state, a new house, with a new super colicky baby and a three year old.

I joined a MOPs group that gave me support from some wonderful Christian women and childcare to have a break. I met people quickly and found that being at home and independent isn't always as bad as one imagines.....you cherish that time with your husband so much more. It depends on the program if they can take time off, I have a friend that has a child develpoment month rotation. It is for female or male resident's that are going to have a baby. You spend the month at home, "tracking" a month of the babies changes and watch how the "bonding" process works. Then they write a paper at the end, hehe. They get paid and it counts as an elective month.......I wish that was the case at our progam.

Let us know if you need anything!!!

July 20, 2010 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger faith said...

Congratulations on the baby! That is wonderful. My husband is a third year and we're having our fourth at the beginning of February. Adjusting to your first can be quite an experience, but I suggest keeping things simple and taking things one day at a time. I think it's also important to talk to your husband about what he is able to help with.
Also, lower expectations and be flexible! Congratulations, again!

July 20, 2010 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Congratulations! My husband and I are also expecting our first this November. He's an MS2, though. I plan on staying home with the baby. I've heard from all sorts of med school mommies that there isn't a "perfect" time to have children. That there are going to be challenges no matter what, but of course lots of blessings! Glad to read all the other encouraging posts. My family lives 2+ hours away, but I have a great group of wives down here that have told me they really want to help out. You should look into support systems through your husband's program. Keep us posted :)

July 20, 2010 at 5:36 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Dawkter said...

No advice - I just wanted to say Welcome and CONGRATS!!!

July 20, 2010 at 9:38 PM  
Blogger TheFamousStacie said...

How exciting!!!! I had a baby during Chad's Intern year - of Surgery! What a CRAZY time to have a baby!!!

They wouldn't let him off when I went into labor. When he finally got off he slept in the corner of the delivery room until the moment the baby came. He got up, looked at the baby, cooed for a couple minutes, then was back asleep in the corner.

I say - accept all the help you get offered from friends and family. Next PGY2 will be much better!

You can do it!!!!

July 21, 2010 at 10:59 PM  
Blogger Melisa said...

Congrats, Aly!! Our third baby was 6 months old when we started PGY1. Ah, fun times... Make friends with other resident wives. Go to Meetup.com and find some groups with your interests. There are groups for dining out, exercise, new parents, etc. Ask around and find a baby sitter you can trust so that you can have time alone with your hubby on those rare nights he has time off. ;o) And of course, we are always here for you!

July 22, 2010 at 9:25 PM  

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