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Lives of Doctor Wives: To every season...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

To every season...

Today I LOVE being a Stay At Home Mom! Yes, I realized I said TODAY and that I also capitalized each letter of my title. That is what it is after all, a title. My sweet little boy has been such a huge blessing to our crazy lives. A son brings a different perspective to our estrogen heavy home, as well as a new friendship for Dr. H. Not better than the one with our daughters, but different. He is laid back and funny and always entertaining, just as a third child should be!

Our oldest was born prior to med school and was in Kindergarten for Intern year. She was independent and a quiet thinker, like many only children seem. She was our only for almost 5 years. She was quiet, easy in every stage and spoke very early. She was friend a lot of the time during medical school. She allowed me to work from home and although she suffered from some serious health issues, she was not a complainer. My family lived near us for med school and she went easily between all the homes. She was loving and kind and easily adaptable. Just what a working mom needs in a child she is often parenting solo. She was the perfect child for that season of our lives.

We moved to Nashville when our middle child was 5 months old. Our "plan", and I use the term very loosely, was to stay home for intern year and then go back to work during his CA-1 year. I worked as a consultant during that very tumultuous intern year. Then the economy tanked and my clients could no longer afford me. Jobs were less than plentiful, and pay was very low in my field. We would require a full time nanny due to the travel involved in any job worth having. The math did not add up, so I began my new career as full time Stay At Home Mom. It was not MY plan, but it is what happened.

Our middle child, a daughter, was a very easy baby and she was just what I needed for that season. She was calm and sweet and independent when I was sad and alone in a new city. She was friendly with new people and  made play dates with strangers very easy. She loved to be outside and that was my escape on a very small budget in a new town. We walked and ran miles in our neighborhood and in the parks system of Nashville.  She napped easily anywhere which made carting her older sister to school and activities, much easier. She just loved to be with me-whatever we were doing together made her very happy. When she began mother's day out, she was always sweet to the other children and a kid teachers wanted to have in their classrooms. Exactly what I needed during residency, parenting 2 kids alone much of the time. When I first began staying at home, I felt the need to justify my reasons, or my job. It was an internal struggle when people asked what I did, especially at work functions. Can't an MBA stay home with their children if necessary? Our middle daughter and her peaceful spirit always calmed those nerves for me. It was just something about her. Looking into her eyes I knew this WAS my place and the ONLY place I should be at that time. She was just what I needed for that season.

Our third child, a son, was born during my husband's interim attending year. When he was 5 months old, Dr.H began his fellowship. Our son is funny and a born entertainer. He is charming but challenging and very inquisitive. He requires my constant eye and my constant heart. He adores his sisters and craves their attention and time. His first year was a very stressful time in our home. Dr. H's fellowship was equally demanding as intern year. I had lost my dad the year before and my mom had several health issues as well. Our bright light was our son. He kept the whole family inspired and moving forward. We all followed his every milestone and the our girls were as eager and first time parents to see what he could do that day! He was what we all needed for that season.

I don't know if the child shapes the season or if the season shapes the child. But I do know that each of our children have enhanced the seasons of our medical journey. Those seasons have shaped them as well giving them traits and qualities they use more and more with each phase of their growth.
Our oldest will be 13 in 2 weeks. She is strong, creative, insightful and wise beyond her years. Our middle one is kind and intuitive with a peaceful spirit. She touches people with her heart in the most unexpected ways. Our youngest will be 3 in one week. He continues to keep us on our toes. He loves hard and plays hard and keeps us all excited for the next thing he will accomplish.
In the early days I felt awkward explaining my job, so much of my identity was wrapped up in my title. Prior to Dr. H's career, I was a VP for an online advertising firm based in Southeast Asia.  Early on, that seemed a little more impressive than a Stay At Home Mom. Today I proudly share my TITLE to anyone who asks. This one fits me well-and so does this season. While I was creating a home and a family, I was also helping create a physician, and a damn good one at that.


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