Love Letters

Love Letters 

by: Laura Saunders

http://ljsaundersgrace101.blogspot.com

It's 10:00 PM. Shadows converge from the corners of the house and my heart. The baby is asleep, and I'm alone again. Sitting on our sofa, tired from the day, I don't even feel like reading (which, for those who know me, means something). I know that David will be home eventually, even though it is now 3 hours past the end of his shift. It must be a busy night. He'll come in and heat up the plate of dinner I made for him, sit on the couch, ask me about my day, and fall asleep. My husband works so hard for us, and I am blessed to have him and also to be able to stay home with Ethan. However, sometimes I miss him. I miss us--the us that used to hold hands and laugh as we meandered along a path, the us that turned on slow songs and danced, the us that sent each other love letters when we were apart.

Sometimes a girl needs a love letter.

Now, please don't worry for us. We are still deeply committed to each other, and, while life changes and challenges, we find more and more to admire and love. I'm just putting out there something I think every woman feels at some time or another: a feeling of being wilted or uncaptivating; loneliness. AND it's not really the guy's fault.

Ladies, God knows.

Let me tell you about my love for cardinals. Bear with me.

During college, I traveled with Ballet Ensemble to perform out of town. We stayed at various different host families' homes, and a few girls and I were lodged in someone's guest house. It was rather amazing, actually. This family lived on an old southern plantation with lush, aromatic gardens, and the house we were in used to be the overseer's house. There were lovely, burnished, antique wooden pieces of furniture and magnolia trees. We had one morning to rest while we were there.

I remember sitting out on the porch feeling drained and alone even as sunlight bathed my hair in warm radiance and a light breeze cooled my cheeks. There had been many challenges, discouragements, and sadness during this season, and I needed refreshment. So, I stole out of the house that morning to have a moment with God.

I had been reading Captivating by Eldredge, and the author spoke of how God had gifted both her husband and her with experiences that refreshed and romanced their hearts. They had asked for a small sign of love and been blown over by the abundance of God's answer.

So, feeling slightly silly (because I knew God loved me; He saved me), I asked for a sign too that He knew my heart and was there, loving me.

Looking out across the yard, I spied a bright red cardinal alighting on the ground. Soon, there was another... and another... and another... They were like a field of roses just for me--too many to count. A truly gorgeous moment.

So I love cardinals. Each time I see one I know that it is a love letter from my True Love, sent to remind me that I am never alone and always wanted.

From Captivating:

"Every song you love, every memory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears has been given to you from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart. God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion."