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Lives of Doctor Wives: Surreal

Sunday, June 13, 2010


So, it's Avi. :) Hi, everyone!! I wish I posted more but things are always just nutty around here...

J's graduation was last weekend on a Friday evening... It was so very surreal, folks... (I don't have very many pictures, unfortunately, because it was so dark in the banquet hall and every picture turned out very grainy or blurry...and because hubby's mom always moves her hands when she takes a picture. :-P)

Hubby's parents came up from Ohio (to Michigan where we are) and even had a frame made up with pictures from throughout his residency and cute scrap book things like a lab coat and a mini-chest x-ray. (I printed an orthopedic x-ray for her later because she wanted to replace it with something that fit his field. :-P) It was so nice to have them there--you could tell that they were just beaming...:-)

The graduation started off with dinner and it was very odd seeing all of the wives together that I've met throughout the last four years. Even the ones who weren't particularly friendly or social with me still said hello, which was nice. I ended up sitting next to one of the somewhat new girlfriend of a resident and, sadly, she's going through the weird hostility herself since her boyfriend and her go out with the other residents all of the time. (Hubby and I don't avoid going out with the residents--we just usually have other stuff to do rather than be out until 2am and witness drunken drama.) Anyways, she was cute and said to me, "Oh, I'm so happy that I have a friend to sit next to!" It kills me how a little bit of politeness seems like so much work from the others.

Some of the wives/girlfriends were awesome with me...and I was sad that this was our 2nd to last social outing with them as there was a picnic the next day. Four out of the six are moving to another state... We and another couple (the couple who got stuck in Minnesota along with us during that rotation) are the only ones staying...mainly because we didn't want to go through the hassles of selling our places. (Hubby won't tell anyone but I know that he chose his fellowship here because it gave me more time to finish my degree. It also happens to be a really good fellowship. :-P)

Anyways, at the end of the dinner and after all of the talking...the ceremony began.

Each resident and their significant other was called up...to accept a diploma, some flowers, and a certificate for the wives that thanked them for support to their husband during their five years of training. (I smirked since I have only been around for only four and we are not married. :-P) This is very different from a few years ago where the wives only got flowers and that was it. The certificate was really nice, I thought. :-)

At the end of the dinner, each resident went up to do a little speech to say what ever they wanted to say. Ladies, I got choked up...because I watched men who I knew to be extremely stoic, break down and cry as they expressed gratitude to their families and their children for dealing with the chaos of their schedules. Half of the residents cried... It was incredibly emotional.

When hubby went up, he seemed to be the comic relief. :) He made everyone laugh with some jokes...and then thanked his parents, the other residents, and his attendings. Then, he thanked me...and told everyone how we met when he was on a trauma rotation, being on call overnight in the hospital once every third night...and how I stuck with him...and didn't think he was crazy. It was adorable...and, for a moment, I forgot that there were hundreds of people in the room with us...because I just felt so very proud and so very in love with J. :-)

It was during those speeches that it hit me what supermen we are with. They work so hard...and, yet, still come home to make us dinner...to make us laugh...to help out as much as they can...to play with their children...to play with their dogs...to have some semblance of a life.

It may not be perfect and there may have been tough times but, quite honestly, that's not what I remember from the last couple of years. It seems as if all of those times were mysteriously lost during each resident's speech, including what J said during his.

I thought about J and I...and about all of the chaotic times. I remember a couple that fought to keep what it was that made them complete. I recall all of the times that hubby and I worked through so many difficult moments and, often, rolled around on the floor laughing because we always try to find humor in things, especially when it seemed like everything was going wrong. :)

It was just so surreal...a little sad...but I was happy to see everyone graduate. :)

Anyways, things are still nutty as usual around here. We have interviews for jobs starting next month with one in Virginia and one in Florida. The opportunity in Florida, oddly enough, was one of the first that hubby found...and it seems like the best offer out of everything. They, also, have been the only ones who have officially invited me out along with hubby. :-P

After out interviews next month, hubby starts fellowship in August...we get married in March...and I graduate from college in May...and I am going to faint because where did the last couple of years go??? :-D

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Blogger SDW said...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS POST! Thank you for the positive but also *real* attitude. I loved reading about the speeches. What a great way to end such a challenging part of the medical training process. Congratulations!

June 13, 2010 at 10:16 PM  
Blogger Ams said...

I LOVE this post Avi!!
Congratulations on the graduating... so awesome :)
And I love how positive you are regarding it all.
I am with SDW - I NEEDED this post!!
We are just about to start the craziness of residency so it is nice to have this perspective!!

Congratulations to both you and J!

June 13, 2010 at 11:08 PM  
Blogger Mrs T #3 said...

Thanks for this post! It was VERY uplifting to read for someone married to a 4th year going into Ortho...good luck to you both!!!

June 14, 2010 at 8:22 AM  
Blogger TheFamousStacie said...

We skipped out on the Graduation to take the kids to Disney World! But Dr.H is just a PGY2 so it wasn't HIS Graduation.

So far I have only met 4 resident wives here. Not much of a support system going.

I'm living the dream, by the beach at Mayo in Florida. Only, in my dream it wasn't quite this hot... and humid. It is not even 9 am and it is 88 degrees, in June. Boy oh boy its toasty! And I usually like it hot.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, you sure are patient woman.

June 14, 2010 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Mèimei's little Designs said...

Congrats on being done!! They do the speeches here too [and give the wives flowers]. Last year one of the residents was so choked up that after numerous attempts to pull out of it, his wife had to come up and finish his speech. Best of luck with fellowship and the job hunt. Davita

June 14, 2010 at 4:24 PM  

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