Lives of Doctor Wives

2012

2011-12-08T15:28:00.001-05:00

I'm new. Hi! Married to a path resident, three kids. My question is, are any of the rest of you worried about what the 2012 Medicare changes mean to the future of husbands' careers? I almost try not to think about it, because pathology is predicted to be hard hit.

Poll - Do you share your passwords with your Dr.H?

2011-08-24T13:44:00.003-04:00

New poll is up. Finally. LOL!

Do you share your Facebook, email, etc. passwords? You can select multiple answers.

Reader Question: After Residency Relocation Search

2011-08-17T09:17:00.001-04:00

Please give this reader some helpful advice!
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My husband and I are currently looking for a place to truly call home after residency. We are looking at the Carolinas and Georgia, Ohio, and California. How do we go about visiting these places? Do hospitals provide traveling expenses to visit? What areas should we look into within these states? Any ideas will help!
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Thanks from a reader

2011-08-15T10:29:00.002-04:00

Anonymous reader wrote the following nice message:

************************
I recently found your blog and I've really enjoyed it and found a lot of solace in reading the posts and comments.

I'm not exactly a doctor's wife, but my husband was/is pre-med. We have two children, a two year old and a one year old. He just graduated and is currently in the application mode. I almost feel that I have already been put through the ringer with his career choice. Our oldest child was born with a rare and terminal brain defect called Holoprosencephaly, she was given 8 weeks to live and now is going on three years old. Our son was born last summer, when he was supposed to be taking the MCAT and applying to med school, hence why he is doing it this summer.

Ironically, I've been doing all this by myself, raising the babies, dealing with our daughters medical issues, therapist, insurance etc... and now that he's home this summer I feel that we have more tension between us. Its like I don't know how to make him fit into our day to day lives. We hope to learn a lot from this year he is on "a break". I'm going back to school this semester and seeing if I can finish some general requirements before he starts with school again. We're trying to build our family unit up so that we are able to handle it when daddy has to be gone again.

Undergrad was really challenging for us, two kids, special needs, medical issues, my husband leaving from 7 am to midnight every day except Sunday. I'm hoping it was a sort of boot camp for what the rest of our lives might look like.

I really appreciate all that has been posted, everyone's honest feelings and contributions. I can't tell you how some of the posts helped my marriage and my understanding of what he goes through. Currently I think he's getting a taste of what I have been going through and I hope this is what ultimately makes our marriage stronger!

Thanks for your blog, I just want you ladies to know that your helping our little family know how to support daddy with a righteous calling!!
**************

Reader Question- Prenups

2011-08-02T15:22:00.002-04:00

A reader has asked for our advice:

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I'm currently engaged to a 3rd year General Surgery Resident and we're getting married before the end of the year. No kids right now, but we plan to start trying for a family after we're married. We've been together 5 years, so I'm familiar with the struggles of being a doctor, both financially and emotionally, and have very realistic expectations how much time and energy my soon-to-be hubby has to spare.

He recently brought up the issue of signing a pre-nup before we get hitched. He didn't bring it up as a "Sign this or we don't get married," but more like, "So, what are your thoughts on pre-nups?" to test the waters. In his program, probably half of the residents are married and only a handful of the attendings he's under are married. The rest are divorced. I realize that in this day and age, divorce is all too common and that it can be very expensive and that both parties need to be sure to protect themselves. I'm sure my betrothed is influenced my his divorced attendings and thier horror stories of ex-wives and alimony and outrageous divorce settlements.

Of course, I'm sure this issue is a moot point (after all, I certainly don't plan on getting divorced!), but I'd like to hear what other doctor's wives have done regarding this issue. In all of the wedding planning, I've not once considered a pre-nup, it's not even been on my radar. So I was a little taken aback. I agree that we all (MDs and wives) need to always be aware of our finances and protect ourselves, but I'll be honest, I was a little offended by it. Of course, I realize that I wasn't the one studying until the early AM hours for 4 years, I'm not in the OR putting in the hours and logging cases, I'm not constantly sleep deprived and running on empty. BUT I do feel that I've supported him over the last 5 years to make him the successful doctor that he is today (by contributing financially, managing the house and the dogs, making sure he doesn't stave when he's on call, encouraging him when he's down, etc) by just being a loving partner. And once we have children, I'm aware that he'll of course be involved with them, but I'll be their primary caregiver and responsible for the majority of diapers, doctor's appointments and everything else that comes with them since his schedule is so demanding. Isn't that worth something?? Or am I overreacting?

Thanks so much for your help!

How was YOUR day?

2011-07-27T15:38:00.002-04:00

One of the other DWs brought up a great topic (thanks, Shayna!) in the comments on my last post.

So, I want to know how many of you has this happened to?

Me: "My day was terrible, hon, my boss yelled at me, I cried, I messed up a big report and blah blah blah..."

Hubs: "Wow, that sounds awful"

Me: "Yeah, it was. Tell me how was YOUR day?"

Hubs: "I had a two patients die on me and then one of the other docs called in sick and I had to skip lunch and work 3 hours over unpaid.."

Talk about disproportional bad days. I don't work in the medical world or really anything like it, so my bad days will never be proportionately bad as HIS bad days. Which, hey, that's ok because it gives me perspective and makes me grateful, but at the same time...it kind of makes me feel just an eensy weensy bit smaller inside. Not even sure if that makes sense.

This story is always one to pull out when you're at one of those awkward dinner parties with people that ask you with stars in their eyes "so what's it really like to be a doctor's wife?"

What does it mean to be a DW?

2011-07-21T15:09:00.008-04:00

I thought I'd share what I'm calling my GET REAL perspective on what it means to be a doctor's wife (DW). If you're like me, you've cringed internally when a casual conversation turns to "wow, your husband's a doctor?" One of two things happen--either the person asks you for medical advice (hey, I've had this rash...) Yeah, because that medical education rubbed off on me, ya know. OR, that person starts to look at you differently, with an understanding that you must live a rather cushy life.

It's ok. I get it. But I don't fit your stereotype. Most of you DWs probably don't, in fact.

Here's the real life of this DW:
(hey, maybe we can start our own version of Real Housewives)

I'm alone a lot. I've learned to enjoy my own company. I don't know what it's like to have a husband with "banker's hours." If he's home in the morning, he won't be that evening because he's working. And vice versa.
Sometimes when the hubs is home he's coming off working a 10pm to 2am shift three or four days in a row. I know what it's like to live with a zombie.
If my little guy has a fever, it's me picking him up from school, not my hubs leaving the hospital to do so.
When he's not working, he's running like hell to catch up on things that he hasn't had time for: the lawn, the fix-it list, his laundry, etc. etc. So, it's very hard for me to make him "present" in my life and the life of our son.
The debt. Oh, the debt. Need I say more?
I'm tired. He's tired. We have a 1 year old. 'Nuff said.

So, DWs, what have I forgotten? What am I totally off base about?

I will say that I know it's a privileged life. I count those blessings every day. But it's not without it's own sacrifices and that's the point of this entry.

-----------------------------------
About me: This is my first post, but I've been a long time reader/lurker. Hubs is an ER doc (he graduated residency in '09). I say that I earned my PHT (putting him thru) degree during those long years. I'm a 30-something mom of an 18 mo. old boy. I work in the publishing/marketing world in Nashville. I married my high school sweetheart and while he was in med school, I got my master's degree. What else would you like to know? I'm game to answer any or all questions. :)

Have you borrowed money from your parents?

2011-07-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

Sorry for slacking on the poll. A new one is up. You can select multiple answers.

New Year!

2011-07-12T21:48:00.002-04:00

I finally got around to updating everyone's numbers behind their names over in the side bar. Although I have been know to make mistakes, so if you have a correction, or something to add or change please email me so I can make the necessary changes! (champagneandbonbons@gmail.com) Thanks!

Congrats on another year of school/training!

Giveaway winners! And Happy New Medical Year!

2011-06-30T23:09:00.005-04:00

Yay! The new medical year has begun! Congrats everyone!

All of the winners got one of their top 3 choices! I'll list the winners in the same alphabetical order as the prizes were announced, which was not the order the winners were drawn, by the way.

Backpack - Emily Clark (#11)

Choffy - Joz1234 (#6)

Earrings - Jenn (#23)

Little Pim DVD - Tif (#9)

Painting - Natalie (#4)

Cookbook #1 - Amy's Blog! (#2)

Cookbook #2 - Sybil (#19)

Signing Time DVD - Kendra H (#28)

As a special bonus, we have a copy of the book, In Stitches. The winner of that is:

In Stitches - Mommy B (#26)

Here is more info on In Stitches:

Prologue: www.institchesbook.com/excerpts

Excerpt from Chapter 6: http://www.blogger.com/www.institchesbook.com/excerpts/in-stitches-book-excerpt-2-i-see-dead-people

We will be starting a book club session with this book, so feel free to join us over on the FB group and forum to discuss! You can get it here!

Winners should have received an email from me. If you didn't, check your junk mail, or let me know!

Congrats to the winners! And thanks to all of you for the support! Enjoy the new year!

2011 Medical Year Giveaway

2011-06-24T05:43:00.006-04:00

Child-sized Embroidered Backpack

Our very own Sybil has a home based business selling these great backpacks for $25.00 each.

Website is Sybil's Creations

Winner will get the following:
Choice of black, red or purple backpack embroidered with the child's name or monogram and one image. Tons of images to choose from including popular characters such as Pooh, Mickey, Disney Princesses....etc as well as generic images such as teddy bears, boats and more!

Choffy

Have you heard of Choffy? Choffy is brewed chocolate. If you don’t like the taste of coffee or if you want to avoid caffeine, you should check out Choffy.There are many news and health articles on the benefits of dark chocolate. And since Choffy doesn't have anything added, you can get all of the health benefits without all of the added sugars, dairy and chemicals in processed chocolate bars. Choffy is just the cocoa beans!! Choffy is made from the finest organic cacão beans, roasted and ground for a rich full flavored drink. While it brews like coffee and supplies you with long lasting energy, Choffy promotes whole body wellness without the negative effects found in other drinks. Naturally loaded with antioxidants and a taste that will make you wonder how you ever did without it, Choffy is poised to make a dramatic entrance into your routine.

Winner will get the following:

A 12 oz bag of Choffy and a box of 2 truffles.

EVERYONE can email me at smile4choffy at hotmail dot com to get a free sample bag to review on their blog or website.

Crystal Grape Cluster Earrings in Golden Shadow and Silver Shade

Bombshell Bling Jewelry by Sarah McKenna one of our fellow LDW bloggers!

Winner will get the following:
This fabulous pair of statement earrings was created with Swarovski crystals. They hang beautifully and sparkle like crazy! They are made from 6mm Swarovski crystal rounds with an 8mm Swarovski crystal round on the bottom. The colors are Golden Shadow and Silver Shade, so they match everything. There are eleven crystals on each earring, twenty-two crystals in all.

Little Pim Foreign Language DVD

Image and description from the Little Pim website:

Little Pim is an award-winning foreign language immersion DVD series for babies, toddlers and preschoolers. We currently offer three theme-based DVDs that use our unique Entertainment Immersion Method™, which combines animation and real kids, teaching simple words and phrases for everyday activities. Each program is available individually or in a discounted three-disc set. Currently we offer Spanish, French, Chinese, Italian, Japanese, Hebrew, English (ESL), German, Arabic, and Russian.

Winner will get the following: DVD in a foreign language of their choice. My daughter has the French one and she just fell in love with Pim. My husband is fluent in French, so it has been fun for her to watch the DVD and learn more words.

Original Watercolor Painting

The artist, Shana, is one of our LDW ladies. You can find her on Facebook! I hope she won't mind if I quote her, but I loved this. "After reading all the posts lately, I really wanted to share a little beauty and luxury with the spouses. Sounds like the majority are going without so much, and art is always low on the list of priorities." So, true, Shana!

Winner will get the following:

A 7" x 5" original one-of-a-kind watercolor drawing. It's valued at $75 and comes unframed.

The perfect way to decorate our "pre-attending" drab homes. Or maybe I'm just projecting... haha!

SenSAAtional Favorites: Just What the D.O.ctor Ordered

SenSAAtional Favorites: Just What the D.O.ctor Ordered is a cookbook compiled by the Student Advocate Association at A.T. Still University - Kirksville College of Osteopathic Medicine. The hundreds of recipes, from yummy appetizers to the delectable desserts, are tried and true by spouses and significant others of medical students ... those who have been there and can relate to each and every one of us (or will be able to in the years to come)!

Website: Our Medical Lives

TWO winners will get the following:

Their own copy of this senSAAtional cookbook!

Signing Time DVD

Have you ever wondered what your baby wanted while she was pointing to the kitchen? Do you wish there was a way your baby could tell you what he wanted instead of crying? Moms are seeing the benefits of using American Sign Language with their pre-verbal child. Infants use ASL for communication, toddlers use it to build their vocabulary, preschool and early elementary children use it for literacy skills and older children and adults are learning a second language. Signing Time is a fun video series for children and their parents to learn American Sign Language.

Website - http://www.signingwithasmile.com/
Facebook - www.facebook.com/signingwithasmile
Shop - www.signingtimeacademy.com/smile

Winner will get the following:

Pick 1 DVD from either the Baby Signing Time series, the Signing Time series 1 DVDs or the Signing Time series 2 DVDs.

To enter, leave a comment on this post, only one per person. (If you need to comment again, please remove your first comment). In your comment, let me know your first three choices (in order) if you were to win. Please also make sure to leave an email or some way for me to contact you. Ends at noon Pacific Time on June 30th, 2011. Winners will be announced July 1st. Thanks!

Poll - What will your numbers be on July 1st?

2011-06-20T10:53:00.002-04:00

We are soooo close to the next med year! Less than 2 weeks! (There are still 2 days to contribute to the giveaway!)

On July 1st, what will your year be?

Giveaway

2011-06-17T17:27:00.001-04:00

I mentioned this on the Facebook group, but thought I'd bring it up here too!

We are going to run a giveaway to celebrate the end of the medical year. The prizes will be awarded on July 1st. If you have anything to donate, please let me know! It could be great advertising for your home-based business. :o)

Reader Question about General Surgery Residency

2011-06-16T10:31:00.002-04:00

Here is a question from reader Allison:
*************

My husband is a MS1 and is thinking about all of his different options in terms of specialties. I was wondering what the General Surgery residency is like? What are most days like? How much time off each week (one day, no days, etc)? Is it crazy hard to do with a family? What makes it easier/harder than other specialties? We have a two year old and she obviously plays into his decision, and I thought this would be the best place to find out! Thank you so much!Allison

Is your DrH considering a fellowship?‏

2011-06-06T09:37:00.000-04:00

Forgive me. I have fellowship on the brain. :o)

June Check In

2011-06-03T22:22:00.002-04:00

Can you believe its the last month of the medical year? Intern year has FLOWN by for us, and I'm a little nervous about starting PGY-2!

Only a few more weeks, and we all get to change the numbers at the end of our names!

Good luck to those of you graduating medical school and moving to your new homes! It's a very busy and exciting time of year!

Any exciting plans for this month? Anyone graduating residency?

Memorial Day

2011-05-30T11:55:00.002-04:00

Thanks to all of you who are brave and strong enough to study medicine and serve your country at the same time. I am truly in awe of your sacrifices. Thank you!

***
We have quite the discussion going on in the Facebook group. Be sure to go to settings and uncheck emails if you don't want a ton of emails from the group.

Anti-climactic

2011-05-28T22:54:00.001-04:00

5th year is starting in 4 weeks. And I thought I would be more excited. While I am indeed excited, it feels very anti-climactic. For so many years I looked at 5th year as our final year. One last year before we could start paying off loans. We are almost at 5th year, and Brad has decided to do a fellowship, adding another year. What is one more year after all we've already done, right. But it sure makes 5th year less exciting for me. And don't get me started on how expensive it is applying for fellowships. $1000 just for a plane ticket to Cincinnati?? Are you kidding me? I will be soooo excited when we find out where we are going for fellowship. It will mean he can't fly any more places. It seems like he keeps adding one more each week. haha! How many is too many to apply to? When is enough, enough? At the most he will only be going to one of the programs.

Poll - How do you sleep?

2011-05-23T08:39:00.003-04:00

I have heard a couple of times that some friends of mine have never been away from their spouse for more than a day. And these aren't recently married friends either, we are talking years of marriage. And I have also come to the conclusion that people who can say this are not married to doctors.

Anyway, my sleeping (or lack thereof) habits were on my mind. (Anyone else have a hard time sleeping alone??) You can select more than one answer.

Poll - How was this year compared to last year?

2011-05-09T12:46:00.001-04:00

Only a couple of months left until we add another year! How was this year compared to last year?

I have to say that I love Senior Call and this year has been great. Only one more to go (give or take a fellowship)!

Poll - Do you have a gym membership?

2011-04-25T10:40:00.001-04:00

New poll is up. :o)

Graduation Gift Ideas?

2011-04-21T12:26:00.003-04:00

My DH is graduating in a few short weeks and I have no idea what to get him! The excitement & stress of match-relocating-my job search-home search resulted in thoughts of graduation being put on the backburner.

Any suggestions out there?

OMG worst than residency

2011-04-16T11:48:00.002-04:00

Hey I dont mean to be Debbie Downer but OMG this life after residency is not any better time wise.
I always thought that once residency was over we would fall into this great little life where we would have enough money to do the things we wanted and enough time to enjoy them and that is so not the case.
I understand why, I mean now my hubby has to make a name for himself and work toward a goal of growing his own group but seriously he is working more than when he was in residency.
We have been arguing a lot and its because well I never see my husband its hard to be an understanding wife when I am alone with my kids all the time and I have them complaining about why dad is never home and when he is he is on the phone with the hospital.
See now he is working basically everyday and on call all the time, annoying is the best way to describe it.
A few days ago we went out to eat in a restaurant and he received a call from the hospital and to make a long story short he was on the phone from the moment we ordered until after the girls and I finished dessert so we just sat there watching him eat his cold plate of food so that we could finally leave, not a fun night out.
Thanks for letting me vent!

Poll - Does your Dr have in-house call or home call?

2011-04-04T11:25:00.001-04:00

New poll is up! Brad has home call YAY!

Poll - How much is your family's monthly cellular bill?

2011-03-28T14:24:00.000-04:00

New post is up! Do you have internet on your cell? A family plan? Texting?

Clerkships

2011-03-25T17:08:00.000-04:00

Hey All,

We are in our third year of med school and are scheduling clerkships/interview rotations. My student was just offered a clerkship at an amazing program however, he is a D.O. student and we can't seem to find any D.O. residents listed for that program. While I understand they wouldn't invite you if you weren't competitive, I'm still a bit hesitant to celebrate.

Does anyone have any input on D.O. friendly programs and this whole process?

Thanks!

Poll - Are you following March Madness?

2011-03-21T09:32:00.001-04:00

New poll is up. Happy voting!

PS Please ignore my spelling issues. My eye has been twitching for 2 days and I'm starting to go insane.

Don't leave me hangin'!

2011-03-18T18:28:00.000-04:00

Where is everyone headed? (Matching/Scrambling/Fellowships whatever)

"St. Matchrick's Day" 2011

2011-03-16T18:21:00.004-04:00

Hi! I'm wondering what all you 4th year wives are doing/wearing for "St. Matchrick's Day" tomorrow! Some of my wifey friends have found St. Patty's Day shirts and manipulated them a little bit. For instance, my shirt says "Kiss Me" on the front and I am covering up the back that says "I'm Irish" with a large clover button that will say "We Matched!" We're also decorating our table with "St. Matchrick's Day" decorations.

I've collected some shirts, hats, scarves, etc. that represent the top 5 programs we are trying to match to for my hubby to put on after reading his envelope aloud.

SO! What are you all doing for tomorrow? I want to hear how other programs run their match day events and what creativity will be flowing...

Good luck tomorrow everyone!

MD Match Day!

2011-03-14T09:55:00.003-04:00

Anyone want to chime in on if they matched or not, or are you waiting to announce on Thursday?

Poll - Who takes out the trash in your house?

2011-03-14T09:55:00.001-04:00

How helpful is your spouse at home? ;o)

Book club

2011-03-13T21:09:00.003-04:00

Sorry for my hiatus, but I finally got some more chapters up on the forum for our Book Club read, Complications by Atul Gawande.

I have:

Education of a Knife
The Computer and the Hernia Factory
When Doctors Make Mistakes

All of these could lead to some really intersting discussions! If you are just starting, don't worry, you don't have to be on the same chapter as everyone else.

And if you want the code to apply for the forum, check out the forum page.

PS Sleep well everyone hoping to match! Best of luck!

Japan Relief

2011-03-12T22:04:00.003-05:00

Did any of you have family or friends there? I'm still hoping to hear from my son's pen pal there. Do you know of any doctors or nurses going there to help? Anything to share?

Forum

2011-03-12T15:48:00.004-05:00

We had some problems with inappropriate posts on the forum. I really apologize if you were subjected to these posts. The posts and the users have been deleted. We also changed the settings so that only registered users can see the posts. That should give it a more secure feeling. New users will now have to be approved by the admins, so please be patient while waiting for approval. If your user name is something I can recognize as being from this blog, you will get approved faster. Otherwise, I will be emailing you for verification. Please email me back so I can approve you. If you haven't emailed me back in week, the request will be deleted and you will need to reapply. Thanks!

Some people who had been inactive for a long time, or applied but never logged on, got deleted. You just need to reapply. We just want to make sure we don't have any spammers on there.

Finally, if you posted anything that felt spammy (advertisements, links to other sites, etc.), you were also deleted.

I have no way of knowing which users are legitimate users from this blog. I apologize if I deleted someone I wasn't supposed to. Please feel free to reapply.

Any other questions, please let me know!

Poll - Do you drink alcohol?

2011-03-07T15:30:00.001-05:00

New poll is up. Just in time for Mardi Gras. ;o)

Poll - Did you go on a date with your DrH in the month of February?

2011-02-28T15:01:00.002-05:00

February might be a bit unusual since most people go out for Valentine's Day. But typically, how often do you go on a date with just your spouse? What did you do on your last date night?

One of Brad's attendings was in a documentary, so we were able to go to the screening and the party after the screening. And then he let me get some Thai. Yay for date nights!

Tax Advice for Minimizing Loan Repayment Amount?

2011-02-24T12:12:00.002-05:00

My husband is graduating in May and will begin residency...which also means loan repayment begins. Does anyone have any advice of filing our taxes this year to minimize the monthly repayment amount? Or any financial advice on this in general? We have friends who graduated last year and filed married jointly and wished they hadn't because it made their med school loan repayment amount astronomical.

Thank you in advance!

3 weeks MSIV's :)

Support system

2011-02-23T18:24:00.004-05:00

Last night a few of us in the Philly area went out for appetizers and dessert. With match happening recently for DOs and coming up quickly for MDs, it was great to get a chance to talk about the possibilities.

If you can, find others in your area who can understand and relate to what you are going through. Use the Facebook group or the forums and start a discussion. I know that I really look forward to our planned monthly outings, even if the snow sometimes delays our plans.

Remembering the beginning...

2011-02-22T10:34:00.003-05:00

We have a question from Casey:

***
I was just wondering if you could ask the wives on the Doctors Wives blog about advice for wives/girlfriends whose significant other is just starting med school. Things that they've learned in their personal experience that helped them greatly with getting through that first year.
***

I know we probably talked about this before, but with med school starting in only a few months, it might be nice to revisit the topic. So, let's hear what you have to say! Let's help some of the ladies new to the experience out. :o)

Advice for med students attending residency interviews

2011-02-21T14:48:00.003-05:00

This is from reader Camilla:

*****************************************************

My husband is in his fourth year of Gen Surgery residency and has been doing a research year so he finally has had the chance to sit in on a lot of night-before socials with applicants and ranking meetings. I thought I might pass on some of this information to wives of potential applicants.

First, take time to learn about the program-- even if you think it is at the bottom of your list. When an applicant says something like, "I really like your program," the natural follow-up question will be, "Why? What in particular do you like?" If you can't answer intelligently, you will look like a dumbo. On the converse side, don't seem too overeager. One applicant told my husband he really liked the program and couldn't wait to come out for a second look. This comment made my husband wonder why he didn't just ask his questions now while he was at the site. I'm sure the applicant was just trying to sound interested, but he sounded like he was gunning. . . I guess you had to be there?

Anyway, show your interest with interesting, well-thought-out questions, not anything that remotely resembles kissing-up.

Second, stay away from controversial issues like politics. Just don't talk about it. Not in an interview. No. No. No. No matter what you say, you will irritate someone when your comment gets repeated in rank meetings.

Third, don't brag to the current residents during socials. You may think your score is high-- and it may be-- but that information is listed on your application. When rank meeting time comes, the number is clear to everyone. If you came across braggy before-hand, it is often perceived as arrogance. Also, don't brag about how many chest tubes you put in during your rotations or how many whipples you've observed, you are talking to residents who have had more experience than you. Don't try to make yourself seem cool. Be cool for who you are, not by trying to out-do a resident- the resident will win. And the resident will be bugged.

Fourth, don't share your marital/relationship troubles with the residents at socials. Just don't do it. You will seem needy. Don't tell them your wife doesn't think she can support you in a rigorous specialty. That is between you and your wife. If you share this with the residents, they want to protect their program. They don't have a colleague who will be calling them to cover shifts cause their wife is having a bad day.

Dress nicely. If you show up in jeans and t-shirt, most people won't take you seriously.

Finally, be yourself. Have a good reason about why you are pursuing a specific specialty.

Poll - Did you go to your last high school reunion?

2011-02-21T11:46:00.003-05:00

New poll is up! I was watching a Psych episode about reunions, so I thought I'd ask. :o)

My TWENTY year reunion is coming up in 4 years. Whoa. And with any luck, Brad will FINALLY be done with his medical training by then. *sigh* Twenty year reunion and he will finally be in the workforce. LOL!

Tell me about Neonatology Fellowship

2011-02-16T23:19:00.002-05:00

Anyone out there traveling down the Neonatology path? Brian is just entering the interview phase, and so I am looking for advice. What kind of advice? I have no idea. Of course, this isn't our first rodeo, but I also know that every step of the journey is different. So, maybe...What is something you wished you'd known going into it? or How it differs from peds residency? or One thing you'd do different....etc. Also, feel free to chime in even if you're in a different discipline. Anything is welcome. Thanks!

DO Match Day!

2011-02-14T09:52:00.002-05:00

YAY! It is finally here! Anyone want to get on and let us know where you are going and what specialty you are?

Poll - Do you celebrate Valentine's Day?

2011-02-14T09:51:00.001-05:00

New poll is up for your voting pleasure!

Happy Valentine's Day! Feel free to tell us what you bought, what you received, how you celebrated, etc.

Complications Chapter 1

2011-02-12T16:38:00.002-05:00

I have the first chapter up for discussion. I already put up some thoughts and things to talk about, but please feel free to add more. I really love this book!!! If it isn't at your library, check on Amazon or half.com. You can get some great deals and this book is definitely worth spending some money on, especially if your hubby is in any kind of surgery.

Complications

2011-02-07T20:03:00.002-05:00

I convinced my local book club to read Complications by Atul Gawande for book club this month. Absolutely a fascinating and riveting book! I could read it over and over. In fact, I bought it off Amazong so I could. LOL! It is especially interesting for those with an interest in surgery. I thought if anyone wanted to read it with me, we could have a discussion over on the forum. Hope to see you there!

Poll - Do you want 6 more weeks of winter?

2011-02-07T09:24:00.002-05:00

New poll is up!

I gotta tell ya, I'm really over winter. I miss parking spaces, decent roads to drive on, not having to reschedule my life because of storms... Really ready for some sun!

January Recap/February Check In

2011-02-03T20:39:00.003-05:00

Happy February! How are all of you doing?

How many of you were effected by this week's massive storm? We were, but my husband was able to get safely to and from the hospital and we never lost power, so it wasn't too bad! Were all of you able to stay safe in the crazy weather?

We had a pretty uneventful January and nothing much scheduled for February. We are looking forward to another quiet month.

How was your January? Anything exciting planned for February? Do you MSIVs have your rank lists finalized? Only a month and a half till Match day! Good luck to all of you!

Poll - Do you have a Kindle/Nook/etc?

2011-01-31T15:51:00.004-05:00

I don't have one and I'm curious what people think. I just finished a book yesterday (The Scarlet Pimpernel - fantabulous btw...) and I just love holding a book. But, I also hate losing pages when a bookmark falls out, etc.

I just can't wrap my head around an electronic book as being a good thing. Thoughts?

How long have you been married?

2011-01-24T13:58:00.002-05:00

New poll is up.

We hit 11 years last month. YAY!

P.S. I lost my old poll list when I switched computers. Feel free to send me more poll ideas. :o)

Poll - How much do you spend on clothes/shoes (you only!) each month?

2011-01-17T14:47:00.001-05:00

New poll is up!

Probably 9 months out of the year, I spend $0. I did get some long sleeved shirts to go under my Signing Time shirts back in September though...

Poll - How many countries have you visited?

2011-01-10T20:51:00.000-05:00

New poll is up!

Here is my list:

1 Canada
2 Mexico
3 France
4 England
5 Germany
6 Switzerland
7 Italy
8 Austria
9 Amsterdam
10 Belguim
11 Luxemborg
12 What about the Vatican, is that considered a country?
13 And what about Monaco?

I just checked, they are both countries. LOL!

We'd love to travel more and we can't wait to get back to Europe. Some day!

Thinking of all of the MSIV Ladies...

2011-01-07T13:01:00.003-05:00

My husband is MSIV and going through residency interviews and it is honestly the most stressful process. I get so anxious thinking about Match Day - - worrying on Black Monday we won't match - - and worrying about where we will go, can we afford it, will I have to keep working, what will life really be like in residency...etc. I always thought fourth year would be the best but between away rotations, interviews and step two, it is the most stressful!

Please tell me I'm not the only one worrying!!!

Any advice from the experienced ladies?
Do I put in my two cents when it is time to rank programs, or do I let him decide what programs are best for his career? I think we both have the same #1-3 lineup but we are ortho, so the chances of matching 1-3 is slim to none I fear.

So good luck to all of the other MSIV ladies. I'll be thinking of you!

Reader Question: Military Scholarships in Med School

2011-01-06T16:20:00.003-05:00

We have a question from reader Shanna:

My husband is going to be entering Medical School this coming fall and has been offered the Military Scholarship. We have asked around and heard a lot of bad/good things, and people who are completely for it and people completely against it.

Any thoughts/opinions about military scholarships you could share?

Thanks!

December 2010 Recap/January 2011 Check in!

2011-01-04T14:30:00.004-05:00

Happy 2011 - hard to believe 2010 has already come and gone!

I just thought I'd check in and see how everyone's December was?

We had a very busy December, DH was on his third consecutive month of neurological surgery, and it was long hours as expected. He was kind enough to ask me on December 23rd, what I wanted for Christmas. I know this sounds thoughtless, but the poor guy honestly didn't have any free time prior to then. Being the big romantic that I am, I asked for a garage door keypad (because I keep locking myself out of our house!)

We were very fortunate that DH's program breaks up Christmas, and New Years, so that half the residents work for 4 days for one holiday and the other half work the other four days. This means that each resident gets 4 days off at some point in December/early January. DH was lucky and got 4 days off for Christmas which allowed us to travel and see some family.

This month also starts a new calendar year. What will 2011 bring for all of you? For us I am looking forward to a fairly uneventful year (2010 had more than enough going on)! It will be nice to know that we aren't moving again, and that our jobs will stay the same.

So what's this month look like for all of you and your families?

This month DH is on inpatient neurology, which will mean much shorter days, and much more free time (he has been on neurosurgery the past three months). I'm hoping he'll be able to get a lot of studying done, and some projects done around the house.

Happy New Year!

Poll - How many computers/laptops do you have in your house?

2011-01-04T09:23:00.003-05:00

Hmmm, someone forgot to post the poll yesterday. Oops. :o)

We have an insane number of computers. I have a laptop, Brad has a laptop, we still have our computer from 2001 that our boys use, then we got a PC in 2005, that my boys also use. And somewhere in that mix is another computer that Brad wants to "take apart" to get the good parts and sell the rest. Yup, that is 5 computers/laptops. Oy!

Wanted to share

2011-01-02T09:04:00.002-05:00

Hey happy New year everyone. I entered a blog post on my blog and wanted to share. Here it is.

Now that we are half way through the year, how is it compared to last year?

2010-12-27T19:27:00.001-05:00

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and best wishes for a happy New Year too!

Poll - Is your DrH working on Christmas?

2010-12-21T10:49:00.001-05:00

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Facebook question

2010-12-15T09:27:00.004-05:00

There is a great question over on the Facebook group:

"So, my med student and I have been wondering since he is 1/2 way through his 3rd year.... what makes a 'good' residency program? What should we be looking for in a program or in a location? Any advice? I hear so often people saying "Oh, yeah, that's a good program" or statements along those lines.... which is why I can't help but ask, well, what MAKES a program 'good'. I read the terms 'top tier' 'mid tier' and 'low tier' programs and wonder- how do you know where a program fits in those terms? Thanks!"

Any thoughts you want to share here or over on the group?

Poll - Are you doing Christmas cards this year?

2010-12-13T12:30:00.000-05:00

Happy voting!

Fellowship question

2010-12-09T15:50:00.003-05:00

I was hoping to get the advice of some of you experienced in fellowships. My husband wants to do a fellowship, but I have my concerns. Well, one concern actually, my kids. We were only in MI for 2 years when we moved again to Philly. The first year was really tough on my kids, starting over, making new friends. My son still talks about his MI friends. I just really don't like the idea of moving my kids to a new location for one year. They will be 10, 9 and 6 when we move. And then we'd be moving again soon after. I just worry about them. My husband says kids are resilient and can handle the disruption, but I can't get that ugh feeling out of the pit of my stomach. That first year broke my heart with my son trying to make friends. Now he has some wonderful friends, but it was a rough year. I told Brad to either pick a fellowship where we are already living or plan on staying where he gets one, but that is obviously not completely in his control. Thoughts?

Poll - How is your Christmas shopping going?

2010-12-09T15:47:00.002-05:00

Oops. I somehow put up the poll, but forgot to post. It's that time of year, when I'm just a scatterbrain.

Are you done shopping? Still a few more things to buy? I haven't wrapped a single thing yet. Is there a pause button for the next 14 days?

Poll - How many books do you read each month?

2010-11-29T21:33:00.001-05:00

Okay all you book lovers, happy voting!

Winners!

2010-11-22T08:41:00.006-05:00

Wow! I'm really happy with the way the system worked! Almost everyone got their #1 choice prize! I'll list the winners in the same alphabetical order as the prizes were announced, which was not the order the winners were drawn in, by the way.

Arbonne - Hanna (#7)

Choffy - Melanie (#36)

DVD from Signing Time - runOfthemills (#51)

Hair comb - Behrmans (#43)

Necklace set - Desiree (#25)

Organizing tote - medicalwife (#2)

Seatbelt tote - Shana (#48)

Taking on Twitter book - Jenni (#6)

Winners should have received an email from me. If you didn't, check your junk mail, or let me know!

As a bonus for all readers, you can receive a taster bag of Choffy, to try out. Email smile 4 choffy at hotmail to get your bag.

Congrats to the winners! And thanks to all of you for the support!

Poll - Is your DrH working on Thanksgiving?

2010-11-22T08:37:00.001-05:00

New poll is up! Winners will be announced soon!

Last chance!

2010-11-19T09:25:00.001-05:00

The give away ends at midnight EDT. If you've been waiting, now is the time to enter! If I can get everyone contacted, the winners will be announced on Monday. Good luck!

A bit of encouragement for you...

2010-11-18T18:10:00.001-05:00

Hi friends,

I heard this song a few weeks ago, and I LOVE it. My husband and I will celebrate our 15th anniversary next month - married on a Friday night during his Christmas break for MSI, back in class on Tuesday morning - and this song celebrates how "it was harder than we dreamed/But I believe that's what the promise is for." I hope you love it, too, and I hope it encourages you as you dance through your own little minefield of medical training.

Hugs,
Jennifer
Pedi Ophtho

Blog Business

2010-11-16T17:41:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone!! I hope you are all doing well!

Let's all try to keep in mind that we all come from different situations, backgrounds, and beliefs and that we won't always agree when it comes to discussions. I want to encourage everyone share their thoughts in a kind and professional manner so that this can truly be a place that encourages, supports, and offers information to the support people behind doctors!!!

I've gone ahead and closed the comments on "I am above my circumstances" and "Eating Humble Pie" in an effort to help us build each other up and not tear each other down. Remember that we don't have to agree but to continue to be a part of this blog we need to keep with it's mission. I really do hope that you find this a safe place where you can share with others who are in similar shoes or to gain insight from those who have been there and have now moved onto to their next journey!

I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving from all of us here at Lives of Doctor's Wives and hope that you will all remember how truly blessed we all are!

Poll - Do you drink coffee?

2010-11-15T07:16:00.001-05:00

New poll is up. Happy voting!

Forum

2010-11-12T21:18:00.002-05:00

The forum crashed and burned. But fear not! The ever faithful and talented Matt has fixed it for us and put it on a new server, or some such technical thing. :o) So, change your link to this http://www.shadytm.com/lodw/index.php if you already have it saved. And if you haven't checked it out, go say 'hi'!

And feel free to spread the word about entering the give away. It will be open for one more week only. Thanks!

Eating Humble Pie

2010-11-12T12:51:00.003-05:00

Humble pie has been a staple for me since starting this medical journey. I think I’ll take a slice now, thanks. Some empathized with my last post to the core. Others were shocked saying I was offensive and elitist. I was taken aback, but after re-reading I see that I could have come off that way.

I believe that I can be above my circumstances. However, as the daughter of a trailer house salesman, I would never believe myself elite or superior over another person.

I feel I should clarify: I do not believe “people” and “circumstances” are synonyms.

My post was about feeling judged, not about judging, i.e., the judging eyes in the supermarket when I used food stamps or WIC vouchers (whether real or perceived). It was about the nursery leader scolding me about my child’s pants being too small and knowing there is nothing I can do about it. It’s about living in a place that makes me cry when I look out the window because my surroundings are so bleak.

I don’t care who you are, doctor wife, single mother of 7 from the ghetto, or riches to rags because of terminal illness, it sucks to have to turn to help from others or the government to survive. NO ONE should have to feel like they BELONG in that situation. We want to yell out our explanations so that others won’t judge us.

Why do I care what anyone thinks? Who knows, human nature perhaps…

My post was about working honest, yet humiliating or undesirable jobs, many times under our qualifications, to make ends meet, for the sake our husbands’ careers.

I volunteer with teenagers and if I could get those kids to believe that they are “above their circumstances” I would consider it a huge victory. Perhaps we’d have less teen pregnancy. Maybe more kids would stay in school. Maybe if I keep telling myself the same thing, I will start to believe it.

Time for a GIVE AWAY!!!

2010-11-09T18:06:00.009-05:00

Yay! It is time to have a give away! We have some really nice prizes for the winners, so be sure to participate. Here they are in alphabetical order:

Arbonne Gift Set
Our first prize is from Denise at http://www.kdtrump.myarbonne.com/. Arbonne offers premium quality beauty, health and wellness products with targeted results. Our promise is to deliver pure, safe and beneficial products in line with our botanical tradition. Our products are vegan-certified and free of harmful ingredients. Live beautifully with Arbonne.

Winner will get the following:
Nutrimin C RE9: antioxidant-rich, ph-balanced mist with vitamins A, C and E regenerates skin tone and firmness to deliver younger-looking skin. For all skin types.

Figure 8 Vanish water relief treatment serum: This revitalizing treatment serum improves the visual appearance of water retention. Tones and firms skin's appearance and reduces the appearance of puffiness, to help promote the look and feel of smooth, healthy skin.

Figure 8 Vanish Cellulite Cream: A daily, synergistic 2-step system to help visually diminish the dimpled appearance of cellulite. This advanced formula blends botanicals and clinically-proven ingredients to improve the visual appearance of cellulite. It's a vanishing act that will leave your skin looking smooth. You won't believe your thighs!

Choffy
Have you heard of Choffy? Choffy is brewed chocolate. If you don’t like the taste of coffee or if you want to avoid caffeine, you should check out Choffy. http://www.drinkchoffy.com/smile Winner will get the following:
A 12 oz bag of Choffy. Choffy is made from the finest organic cacão beans, roasted and ground for a rich full flavored drink. While it brews like coffee and supplies you with long lasting energy, Choffy promotes whole body wellness without the negative effects found in other drinks. Naturally loaded with antioxidants and a taste that will make you wonder how you ever did without it, Choffy is poised to make a dramatic entrance into your routine.

DVD from Signing Time
Melisa Mons is an Associate Director with Signing Time Academy. Signing Time is a fun video series for children and their parents to learn American Sign Language. The Baby Signing Time series is great for children under 3, while the Signing Time series is wonderful for kids of any age.
Website - http://www.signingwithasmile.com/
Facebook - www.facebook.com/signingwithasmile
Shop - www.signingtimeacademy.com/smile

Winner will get the following:
Pick 1 DVD from either the Baby Signing Time series, the Signing Time series 1 DVDs or the Signing Time series 2 DVDs. Everyone can email Melisa to receive a code for 5% off your purchases on her store.

Hair comb
Emily Mah makes handmade jewelry and accessories for Emily Mah Jewelry Designs, available on www.emilymah.etsy.com. She specializes in wire wrap, chain maille, and recycled fine silver.
Winner will get the following:
This hair comb measures 2.5 inches (6cm) across and is embellished with a handmade silver wire rose and clear seed beads. All of the metal in this piece is silver plated and nickel free.

Necklace set
Next we have a gorgeous necklace set from a very sweet and talented friend of mine.

Winner will get the following:
This necklace was made from natural Turquoise barrels accompanied by 2 kinds of Freshwater Pearls and silver ball spacers. It measures 18 inches long with a 3 inch extender. Includes earrings.

Organizing Utility Tote
From Allison:

Website - www.mythirtyone.com/allisonh

Facebook - http://www.blogger.com/www.facebook.com/allisonsthirtyone
Winner will get the following:
Paparazzi dot organizing utility tote - will not be monogrammed as pictured. This multipurpose tote keeps your clutter organized! Organize your cleaning supplies or toys - even use it as an everyday tote or a gym bag (5 side pockets are perfect for water bottles, shampoo, etc.). You can even use it for work and carry your laptop in it. Made from extra tough nylon with stain and water-resistant lining. 7 total exterior pockets (2 mesh). Measures approx. 15.5” W x 10” H x 6.5” D.
Price: $22.00

Seat Belt Tote
Message from à la mode: I started my business, à la mode, in 2005 shortly after we moved to RI for my husband's residency. I found it very difficult to work an office job and manage our home and two boys with a neurosurgery resident. So, we decided I'd stay home full time. Once we were settled, I began my business so that I could dictate my own schedule.

à la mode features features unique stuff with urban appeal: modern handbags, home decor, jewelry, and more. All items are handmade, with an urban aesthetic, utilizing innovative materials and eco-friendly resources.

My website: www.alamodestuff.com
My blog: www.alamodestuffBLOG.com

industrial + upcycled + innovative + fashion + function

Winner will get the following:
A mini version of the popular seat belt tote, this handbag is industrial chic. Winner gets choice of red, black, or gunmetal grey.

Seatbelts are woven to provide beautiful texture to this sophisticated yet durable handbag. The seatbelts are new, post production quality (somehow deemed unusable for the auto industry). Saved from the landfill, they've found new life and usefulness in this great bag. This bag is the perfect size for a night out or errands around town.

details: woven seatbelt webbing, magnetic closure, fully lined with interior slip pocket, nickel purse feet

dimensions: 10"w x 6 1/4"h x 4"
value: $58.00

Taking on Twitter Book
We have a hot-off-the-press book from our very own Kathi Browne at www.wingspouse.com

Winner will get the following:
Autographed copy of Kathi's book. This quick reference handbook provides a small business owner or entrepreneur with a menu of social media strategies to market a business. It is the first handbook to address Twitter's brand new screens and features, and a chapter is devoted to comparing old and new versions of Twitter. This guide is specifically designed to quickly get a person on their way to effectively and affordably using Twitter.

To make this book easy to skim and refer to, key points are bolded, strategies are clearly explained, and key words are indexed for quick look-up. This guide also explains the strengths and weaknesses of some of the most popular third party applications, focusing on the most affordable options to get the most out of Twitter.

*************************************

To enter, leave a comment on this post, only one per person. In your comment, let me know your first three choices (in order) if you were to win. Please also make sure to leave an email or some way for me to contact you. Ends at midnight Eastern Time on November 19, 2010. Thanks!

I am above my circumstances.

2010-11-09T13:34:00.006-05:00

It can be a huge challenge while Dr.H is in medical school and residency to live the way we live, being the way we are. Most of the Dr. Wives I know not only have their college degrees, but have gone on the get advanced degrees such as a master's degree or law degree, or some other type of advanced education.

It only makes sense that we are highly educated, intellectual women because we married men who value education as well.

This being said, it can be difficult emotionally, while in these years, when we are waiting in the overfilled medicaid clinic with our sick child, or buying food with WIC vouchers and/or food stamps.

I want to scream - "I want you all to know, I don't belong here! I'm not here because I dropped out of high school and have 3 kids from 3 daddies. I'm here because daddy is a doctor and we are all sacrificing for his education!"

"I am above my circumstances"

"I am above my circumstances"

Can get that as a bumper sticker on my falling apart car? Can I put it on a hat like Frank Rossitano on "30 Rock"?

No, I will suffer through. I will make extra money when necessary dealing Black Jack, dressing as Dora the Explorer or a Carebear at Walmart. I will do surveys for Marlboro at gay bars. I will hand out Viva paper towel samples to people who push it away and say, "I'm good" (who doesn't need paper towels any way?) I will make my kids wear pants that are too short and get the discounted lunch. I will do what I must for my husband to get his education.

But I will know that I am above my circumstances.

Poll - How often do you iron?

2010-11-08T15:34:00.001-05:00

New poll is up.

We have about 6 really fun things to give away. Hopefully it will be soon. Only one more follower to go!

physician loans

2010-11-07T20:30:00.001-05:00

Does anyone have any information on the physician loans? Any available ones in FL?
Thanks

Residency Duty Hour Changes

2010-11-02T20:52:00.000-04:00

I am curious what the opinions are of some of the other Physician wives here for the new duty hours approved this past month by the ACGME.

You can find the new Common Program Requirements here. I am specifically referencing the section that begins on page 16 section VI.G - Resident Duty Hours.

Here is a quick run down of the way it will stand for all Residents beginning next July:

Maximum 80 work week averaged over a 4 week period (not changed)
Moonlighting counts towards 80 hour work week Max. (change)
PGY-1 not permitted to Moonlight
One day free of Duty for every one week period averaged over a 4 week period
Duty Hours for PGY1 CANNOT exceed 16 hours in duration (down from 30)
Duty Hours for PGY2 and Above cannot exceed 28 hours in duration (down from 30)
PGY1 Minimum 8 Hours off between shifts
Intermediate Minimum 8 hours off between shifts--14 hours duty free after in house 24 hour period

Residents must not be scheduled for more than six consecutive nights of night float.

PGY-2 residents and above must be scheduled for in-house call no more frequently than every-third-night (when averaged over a four-week period).

Time spent in the hospital by residents on at-home call must count towards the 80-hour maximum weekly hour limit.

Here are my thoughts and opinions:
I know that to the medical student wife looking at residency next year, 16 hour max shifts probably look great! As I have thought about this over the past couple months, i really think that this will be a dis-service to residents, especially those who are in surgical specialties, but really across the board. While I do think as a wife this will be great, I think that it really cuts back on the experiences a new resident can get. It will force many programs to go to a night float system, since they will no longer have the first year residents to rotate through a over night call system. Cutting the max shift down to 28 hours, means that for a surgical specialty resident who starts his day at 5:00am, they must be off by 9am the next day. To me, seeing what my husband has worked, this doesn't seem possible, practical, or reasonable from a patient standpoint. Maybe I am way off, but it just seems like the doctors that will be trained will not benefit as much from some of the training they will miss you on. But as a PGY1, only being allowed to work 16 hours, that cuts out so MANY experiences you could have. But that is just my 2 cents.

Like I said, I really want to see some other people's opinions on this. Are you worried? Are you happy? Were you aware of the potential changes coming, or that any changes were even taking place?

Poll - Do you know all of your friends on Facebook?

2010-11-01T15:33:00.001-04:00

New poll is up!

Delivery question

2010-10-27T12:23:00.000-04:00

My husband and I are expecting our first child in February, and at my last OB appointment my doctor asked if my MSIV husband would want to deliver our baby (with the OB at his side of course). We honestly had not considered that an option until she mentioned it. Now we're trying to decide whether or not my husband will deliver our little one. We're curious what your experiences have been. Have any of your doctor/med student husbands delivered your kids? Would you recommend it? Was it an amazing thing your hubby is super proud to have done or something you don't think you'll have him do again?

I've told my husband several times that if he wants to deliver our baby that's fine with me or if he just wants to hold my hand and cut the umbilical cord that's fine too.

Thanks for your feedback!

Poll - Are you on Facebook?

2010-10-26T11:08:00.002-04:00

New poll is up. :o) If you are on Facebook, be sure to check out our Lives of Doctor Wives group.

Also, we are only 8 away from 200. Please contact me if you have any ideas or anything to contribute to the giveaway. It will be free advertising for your business. :o)

Saving Money in Applying to Residency

2010-10-21T18:46:00.003-04:00

Thanks for all your responses on how to save money in applying to residency. I tried to put together a list of what we did along with all your suggestions.

For those of you still in med school you can check it out here.

Thanks again!

Poll - Do you own a car?

2010-10-19T20:31:00.001-04:00

Sorry it is late. Happy voting!

Sex & Residency: The Rocky Terrain that Leads to Greener Pastures

2010-10-19T10:29:00.000-04:00

I saw the board has been quiet, so I thought I would stir it up a bit. (Hope the admins don't oppose).

I just posted about sex and marriage on my blog (Good Sex Leads to Great Marriage). This post was prompted by my pastor's recent message: Go home and get naked. Yep, he urged all of us married couples to invest in our marriages whenever possible and all of us have been thanking him since.

As I wrote my post, I flashed back to those call days when DrM could sleep through anything (wink). When he WAS home, he usually shared the bed with a nursing baby. Those days were straining on our marriage. I remember waiting for DrM to come home so I could take my first pregnancy test. As I stuck the results in front of his face, he asked me if I had a fever. Can you relate? Any advice for wives who are feeling neglected?

Poll - How many hours does your DrH work each week?

2010-10-11T16:29:00.000-04:00

This includes time at the hospital and time studying outside of the house. It does not include home call (if they are at home) and studying at home.

Saving Money in Applying for Residency

2010-10-05T16:35:00.002-04:00

So I'd like to do a post on my personal blog about saving money while applying to residency and going on interviews (I'll make sure to post a link here too), but I was wondering if those of you who have already survived that stage of life could share some of your money-saving advice with me. I'd like to incorporate other ideas (other than my own) of how you pinched pennies and cut costs when going on interviews and applying to residency, because lets face it, its an expensive but necessary process. Would you mind commenting on this post or emailing me at champagneandbonbons@gmail.com if you have any advice you're willing to share? Thanks in advance!

Poll - How much do you spend on food each month?

2010-10-04T17:43:00.001-04:00

This includes groceries and eating out. :o)

Poll - What is the square footage where you live?

2010-09-28T13:39:00.000-04:00

New poll is up to go along with last week's.

Making mistakes

2010-09-26T22:48:00.002-04:00

Of course we all make mistakes in life. But it is magnified with physicians because they literally have lives at stake. I was reading this article in The Reader's Digest about doctors confessing their mistakes and why they don't admit it more often. Um, maybe it is just me, but I think it has far less to do with pride and arrogance and far more to do with the litigious society we are living in and the consequences of law suits.

Tool bag

2010-09-23T13:07:00.003-04:00

For the second time in less than a week, I have been extremely grateful that Brad carries a tool bag in his car. (I won't go into the story on here in case people aren't interested, but feel free to read it on my personal blog.) Anyway, the bag is awesome. It's like a first aid kit on steriods. Lots of tools you would want in a minor medical emergency. It's just a small messenger bag and he uses pencil cases to divide the tools by the emergency and keep things organized. Might I suggest you keep one close by? You never know when you will need one. :o)

Poll - How much do you pay for rent/mortgage?

2010-09-20T16:56:00.000-04:00

Happy voting!

Baby Fever!!!

2010-09-15T17:27:00.002-04:00

Hi! My husband is a soon-to-be MS1. I know it is going to be a major change of pace when he is in school, but I am here for him all the way! The one thing is... right now I am getting MAJOR baby fever. I wonder what everyone's opinions are on having a baby while your hubby is in medical school??

Poll - Do you or your DrH smoke or use chew?

2010-09-14T16:27:00.001-04:00

New poll is up. Sorry it is late. Crazy couple of days. :o) Voting will still end early Monday morning, so vote soon!

Spread the Word and Spread the Love

2010-09-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

On October 14, I will be speaking to resident wives at a local medical alliance group to talk about several social media sites (including this site, many of your blogs, my wingspouse blog, and other resources) they may appreciate knowing about. This got me thinking... why not spread the word in your area, too?

Many of you know how nice it is to share residency stories and to support each other. You have probably visited many of our blogs (they are listed on the sidebar of this blog), and they are fun to frequent. I know I love to see comments on my blog from spouses I've met here and on other blogs. I really enjoyed the recent Resident's Wife Blog Tour some of us participated in, too.

If your area has a medical alliance, a medical society, a hospital alliance, a doctors' wives club, or some other similar group, offer to spend a few minutes telling them about all of our blogs. I don't know about you, but I'm lalways excited to see new "faces" and welcome them into our cyber-circle.

Survivor Saturdays: Vacationing on Vouchers

2010-09-11T07:37:00.004-04:00

I don't know about the rest of your husbands, but my husband was never good at pinching pennies. We jokingly say that it's a good thing he became a doctor because not many careers could support his spending. The man even likes shoes!

Anyway, for years I was on him to be more conscious about spending, wasting, etc. I had to take care of the finances so we could save for our first house. I would hide away money and not tell him and then when we needed something, I would pull it out. He was so excited and amused. Well, the day came that I was sooo done taking care of the finances and I dumped it in his lap. I swore I wasn't going to worry about it anymore. That would be his job.

Now five years later, he just surprised me with an anniversary vacation to Costa Rica (our 20th!). While I was excited to go, I was also worried that he had just committed us to a hefty balance on our credit card. Yes, we make good money but we recently moved to a area where houses cost twice as much. We also have three boys headed for college in the next couple of years... one is already there.

I was pleasantly surprised when he said he had been saving up his frequent flier miles to pay for our plane tickets, his hotel points were covering our hotel the night before we flew out, and although he chose to go to Costa Rica in off-season to save money, the owners of the rental home let him have it for free as their gift!

So if you think a nice vacation is out of reach, think again. If my husband can get us there on the cheap... anyone can do it. Just make sure you're taking advantage of all those hotel and airfare points programs. If you're interested in reading my blog post about our week together, here it is:

Away Rotations

2010-09-09T11:50:00.002-04:00

For those of you still in medical school, I put together a post on my advice for away rotations. You can check it out here: Advice from a Doctor's Wife: Away Rotations.

For those of you MSIVs good luck - its a crazy, exciting and stressful year - but you will survive! Feel free to email me if you have any questions, would like any advice, or need to vent about applying to residency!

Where are you in the training process?

2010-09-09T00:54:00.002-04:00

So I finally got around to updating everyone's status as another medical year began way back in July!

Could you please check your name in the righthand column and make sure I updated you correctly? For those of you newly minted resident/doctor wives would you please let me know what specialty you are in?

I most likely made several mistakes and may have increased someone two years and didn't advance someone else, so I'd appreciate it if you could make sure your name, year and specialty is correct and if it is not please email me at champagneandbonbons@gmail.com or marriedtoamedicalstudent@gmail.com.

Thanks so much!

Things they say

2010-09-06T15:11:00.002-04:00

Anyone have funny stories about the crazy thing their DrH says? Sometimes the crazy part is that the conversation seems so normal. LOL!

I had this conversation with Brad last week. Last year, when the leeches got lost, we were at a Resident's BBQ, talking about where you can get medicinal leeches. The residents that were on call got paged while we were all looking it up. Ahhhh, fun times!

Poll - How often do you shave your legs?

2010-09-06T15:04:00.002-04:00

Labor Day. Does that mean summer is over? My kids start school tomorrow. Wowza.

Everyone loves a giveaway!

2010-09-03T18:21:00.003-04:00

We made it to 175! YAY! That means it is time to start collecting items for the giveaway. If you have something to contribute, please let me know. Or, if you are willing to contact stores, websites, etc. to ask for donations, let me know that too!

It won't happen until we reach 200 followers, so we have some time. You can reach me by going to my profile under the admin link.

Thanks, everyone!!

Blog Tour Is Up!

2010-09-03T00:47:00.000-04:00

The last stop of the blog tour is posted and this week we are discussing Residency! Last week was awesome - I know I personally found a bunch of great new blogs to follow so thanks to those of you who participated!!

Link up to post about your journey through residency! If you're still a med school spouse, you can tell us what your plans for residency are :)

Things you can talk about are:
-The Match
-If you had to move for residency
-The transition from school to residency
-Your spouse's schedule, calls, etc

Happy Friday!!