tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post792801077987616159..comments2023-10-28T09:31:38.684-04:00Comments on Lives of Doctor Wives: To Those of You Who May Become a Doctor's WifeMelisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06853815094926344439noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-35928822005463615402009-05-29T04:41:04.538-04:002009-05-29T04:41:04.538-04:00I didn't sign up for that job but now I realize I ...I didn't sign up for that job but now I realize I have it... when I got married... at a pretty young age... I really did think we were going to do all of it together. I really did think that he would help with the laundry, and empty the dishwasher. What I have discovered is that I'm the one who does it 99% of the time. When he does do it, it's because he wants to do something nice for me... not because it is his home and he wants to take care of it. My husband doesn't expect me to do everything. He knows that I work full time and go to school full time. He just has a different standard of living than I do. If he weren't married to me, he'd live like many of his bachelor classmates do. He'd live on Chipotle, and Panda Express. He'd find a quaint study area in a library or coffee shop, because his house would be to messy to stomach. He'd drive to his mom's house and beg her to help him with his laundry when he ran out of underwear. The truth is, that I if I just said, 'I'm too overwhelmed, I can't do all the things I'm doing' we could both live the 'bachelor' life. I just cannot do that... I need a pleasant clean home. I need to widen my diet to include more than fast food, and pseudo fast food. I need to have my hamper emptied when it gets full. I need to have my toilet cleaned once a week. I need to change my sheets more often than bi-annually. Sure... my husband apperciates all that I do. He likes living this way better than the bachelor life, just not enough to do it himself. That's the difference between the two of us. Everytime I start resenting the 'little' he does around the house, I have to remember that the 'little' he does is simply for my benefit in his eyes.Wildlifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10387022093764723256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-48665175213315750842009-04-20T13:03:00.000-04:002009-04-20T13:03:00.000-04:00Fantastic description!Fantastic description!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04838179768676122936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-23048058098402068772009-04-18T13:11:00.000-04:002009-04-18T13:11:00.000-04:00EthidiumBromide: It might depend on DrH's special...EthidiumBromide: It might depend on DrH's specialty too. Some specialties offer the flexibility to stay home easily, others, not so much. It probably also depends on how far into practice he is and if you guys want kids and how many. <br /><br />I stay home with my kids because I want to and I enjoy it. Even after they all get into school, I don't plan on going back to work. I would like to go back to school or do volunteer work. But there are many women who feel a strong desire to stay in the work force and have their own income. I am certain they can work out a solution with their husbands.Melisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06853815094926344439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-63411507964770642332009-04-18T12:35:00.000-04:002009-04-18T12:35:00.000-04:00I think it is completely possible to be a working ...I think it is completely possible to be a working doctor's wife. It really depends on your relationship. I don't know how much you would be bringing in, but one thing that we ran into when I was teaching is that I was always the one who had to take off work (even when I was out of days) because he couldn't when the boys were sick. It was worse on his career to constantly be out with our son's constant ear infections than it was for me to be out more than 20 days that year. The next year I stayed home and my son had a slight intolerance to lactose causing him to have diarreah...I would have run out of my 10 days by October had I been working. <br /><br />I would say definitely talk with him and make a plan on things like this because when it comes to having kids everything is up in the air. You never know when they will be sick and if you have them in daycare, they will be sick more often. <br /><br />I know 2 Anesthesiologists who have hired a full-time Nanny who takes care of their kids in their house. This type of situation might be a good idea to keep the kids healthier and allow you to have someone with them if they are sick. Personally I want to be with my kids when they are sick, but we are all different.<br /><br />Please don't think it is a myth...BUT realize that there is a definite reason WHY so many of us stay at home. When your husband has worked 20+ years to do something with his career, our ambitions tend to take a back burner...at least until our kids are older. <br /><br />The other thing we consider is that my salary might put us in an even higher tax bracket one day and might be completely negligible. Personally, I don't have a passion for teaching that much. I am okay with being at home...and might go back to school one day for a masters degree...but who knows?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-62545705210001993092009-04-17T18:35:00.000-04:002009-04-17T18:35:00.000-04:00I have to ask -- do any of you work???
By marryin...I have to ask -- do any of you work???<br /><br />By marrying a doctor, do you automatically have to sacrifice YOUR career??<br /><br />I already do all the housekeeping, cleaning, cooking, planning, etc. etc., but we have no children. And I spend 80-90 hours/week (I often work more than he does) working towards my Ph.D. in biochemistry. Is it all totally a waste? Is there no such thing as a WORKING doctor's wife? Plenty of his fellow residents/attendings claim to have spouses who are both mothers AND have jobs... is it just a myth?Julie @ Bunsen Burner Bakeryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16279523327409654066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-17063620919034235842009-04-14T22:43:00.000-04:002009-04-14T22:43:00.000-04:00Wow, Alexandra! You came in with your eyes WIDE o...Wow, Alexandra! You came in with your eyes WIDE open, then! I think the part of that list that I would not think would be on "stay-at-home Mom's list of things to do" would be the time away from husband part of it all. Personnally, I also don't see it as a stay-at-home mom's job to do all the outside/maintenance stuff...but maybe that is my own problem and how I was raised.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-9970487839214005752009-04-14T17:24:00.000-04:002009-04-14T17:24:00.000-04:00Sounds like the jobs I signed up for when we got m...Sounds like the jobs I signed up for when we got married sophomore year of college. I always wanted to stay home with the family, so none of those jobs seemed out of place on my resume! heheAlexandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08581642491149357699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-72192563156583858862009-04-14T08:49:00.000-04:002009-04-14T08:49:00.000-04:00I know I'm just beginning on this long hard journe...I know I'm just beginning on this long hard journey but honestly not much in this post sounds any different than my life right now! My husband works full-time while I stay home and take care of our four kids! Obviously we are able to schedule a little better and he's not "on call" but it's not unusual for him to be gone first thing in the morning and then not get home until 7:00-8:30 and then be too tired to do much else! I think that having already been a stay-at-home mom gives me a little bit of a "heads up" if you know what I mean!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08083518953299384611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-79864967580792954042009-04-13T23:29:00.000-04:002009-04-13T23:29:00.000-04:00Do you have hidden camera's in my house??? My hus...Do you have hidden camera's in my house??? My husband was a college freshman when we married without a clue about what he wanted to do. I guess through the "better or worse"clause, I signed up for it : )<br /><br />3 kids and 9+ years later we are finishing intern year! this road is such a long one!TheFamousStaciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07755461640864154378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-70888354464973590732009-04-13T13:00:00.000-04:002009-04-13T13:00:00.000-04:00I'm crazy glue too! But being a doctor's wife is a...I'm crazy glue too! <BR/>But being a doctor's wife is all I know...I'm just waiting to get good at it, haha.Cindihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11034814648758970713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-90700495217010948362009-04-13T12:52:00.000-04:002009-04-13T12:52:00.000-04:00You said it perfectly! I'm so glad I found others ...You said it perfectly! I'm so glad I found others who know what it's like!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13878481337663230761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-91725019953047983452009-04-13T12:46:00.000-04:002009-04-13T12:46:00.000-04:00Amen! I had no idea these were the job duties/qual...Amen! I had no idea these were the job duties/qualifications when we got married. I knew it would be hard, but hard is sometimes an understatement. I'm still learning how to find joy in the journey, but I think I'm getting better every day. Thanks for the post!Tashahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17494794694641578507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-36515919224450424532009-04-13T12:44:00.000-04:002009-04-13T12:44:00.000-04:00Sing it, sista! Awesome job. Crazy Glue. haha! ...Sing it, sista! Awesome job. Crazy Glue. haha! love it!<BR/><BR/>It is amazing to me how resilient my kids are with the situation. They had a really hard time letting Brad go yesterday, but they didn't cry, they just jumped right back into their lives. I'm not quite as resilient, but at least I didn't cry either. :o) We just keep doing what we have to do and somehow make it through. <BR/><BR/>This can be a tough gig, but it sure has been worth it!Melisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06853815094926344439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-61011400959745169642009-04-13T11:09:00.000-04:002009-04-13T11:09:00.000-04:00That was a great post. I totally agree with you.That was a great post. I totally agree with you.Sarah Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10601553870783439084noreply@blogger.com