tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post6217551563142032951..comments2023-10-28T09:31:38.684-04:00Comments on Lives of Doctor Wives: Survivor Saturday--When A Patient DiesMelisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06853815094926344439noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-88914928784193088162009-07-26T23:02:23.385-04:002009-07-26T23:02:23.385-04:00What a moving post, Amanda. Wonderful that you sha...What a moving post, Amanda. Wonderful that you shared it with everyone on the board. Every wive will remember that moment when the spouse couldn't deal with a situation and called on them for help. <br /><br />My memory is of lying on the call bed at a VA hospital as my husband withdrew into an almost fetal position. I had never seen him "not in control" before and it was frightening. We didn't talk much that night (just cuddled), but later he shared with me that he was under such pressure to always fix what was wrong, always heal who was sick... that when he found himself in a situation he couldn't fix, he considered it a failure. Can you imagine living with a burden like that? Physicians are under such pressure to be superhuman that they almost expect it from themselves. It's up to us to give them permission to be human again.ClosewithKathihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16015231232157212547noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-78562028272623916022009-07-26T19:52:53.854-04:002009-07-26T19:52:53.854-04:00What a tragic story - not that it makes it much ea...What a tragic story - not that it makes it much easier but at least the family and the staff will have some closure knowing there was a defect and it was nothing that anyone did wrong. <br />I dread the day my husband will experience this.Mrs. Dawkterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00145707715465041670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-31751169641076650892009-07-25T23:23:06.729-04:002009-07-25T23:23:06.729-04:00He is blessed to have such a supportive and unders...He is blessed to have such a supportive and understanding spouse. Death can be so hard to understand and accept.Melisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06853815094926344439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-49270468098853532362009-07-25T15:14:29.377-04:002009-07-25T15:14:29.377-04:00It's easy to become so focused on getting our ...It's easy to become so focused on getting our own needs met that we end up neglecting to meet our hard-working husbands' needs. Thanks for the reminder.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14245648429089391385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-53232311234688846472009-07-25T13:29:11.300-04:002009-07-25T13:29:11.300-04:00Great post, Amanda. This will very likely happen t...Great post, Amanda. This will very likely happen to all of us at some point in our husbands' careers (if not a death, then a really horrible diagnosis), so it's good to remember how much they need our support. Just being there to listen and remind him that he's a great doctor is our #1 job in those situations.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14602014607643804189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-27556657791603776652009-07-25T13:16:10.164-04:002009-07-25T13:16:10.164-04:00I'm sorry to hear your husband's experienc...I'm sorry to hear your husband's experience. It says a lot of your relationship that he turned to you for support. <br /><br />My husband lost a patient this week to, but the patient was not a child. I think he would have a really hard time losing a child too.<br /><br />I think oftentimes that people think doctors are heartless because they have to develop coping mechanisms for the things that they see everyday. People don't realize that most doctors really do care and internalize much of what they see.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-75831533075808861982009-07-25T10:51:10.078-04:002009-07-25T10:51:10.078-04:00Reason #946735847635 why I'm not cut out to be...Reason #946735847635 why I'm not cut out to be a doctor. Your story has me in tears. I can't imagine how rough that was for your husband.<br /><br />Shouldn't most hospitals have grief counselors? I wonder if any have one specifically designated for physicians. It would make sense.<br /><br />Still, the support from family is invaluable. I'm sure your presence had a great impact.MWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16995709462193799826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-35971451873268915472009-07-25T10:02:14.268-04:002009-07-25T10:02:14.268-04:00My husband experienced a patient's death recen...My husband experienced a patient's death recently and it shook him to the core...at least it seemed that way to me. I could see that he was struggling with his emotions over what happened...not knowing if there was something he did or failed to do that may have contributed in this person's death. I found it very difficult as his spouse to know how to comfort him and help him deal with his grief and feelings of responsibility. The family of this patient refused an autopsy, which disappointed my husband because he never really got any closure on knowing what his role was exactly in all of this. Its been almost a year since this occurrence, and I know that it still bothers him. I found it very disappointing that his residency program didn't offer some sort of counseling. I think its unfair to expect these men and women doctors to work as hard as they do, and simply expect them to put these situations behind them immediately.Mommy, Esq.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09512131848435560634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4733275816481882855.post-20187795696523688442009-07-25T07:50:56.214-04:002009-07-25T07:50:56.214-04:00I’m sure that was a very hard experience to go thr...I’m sure that was a very hard experience to go through. I’m not sure what to say but it’s nice to have Doctors out there that care and are not just use to it happening. I’m sure it was such a blessing to have his family at his side. <br /><br />I am new to the board and have found it very interesting and extremely helpful to be able to read everything on this blog. My husband is thinking of going into OB/GYN so it has been helpful to read your individual blog as well.<br /><br />I hope your husband is feeling better now. <br /><br />TammyBehrmanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04197429551463578675noreply@blogger.com